Things Will Never Be The Same Again
by Calzona and Brittana baby
Summary: After the building explodes Shay's life hangs in the balance. Will Dawson be able to save her and confess how she really feels or will it be too late? Will Dawson live to regret the decisions she made and the things she never said?
1. Chapter 1

Dawson slowly started to regain consciousness as she opened her eyes she remembered where she was. In the abandoned building, there had been an explosion. She slowly sat up as her ears rang. She looked around as the dust was setting.

'Shay' she bellowed. She looked back to the vacant spot where she was before the blast had shoved her forcefully 10 feet away from where she was last. That is when she saw Shay, lying there not moving. She quickly scampered across the dusty floor get to Shay as fast as she could.

'Shay, come on girl, come one. Please be alright please.' Dawson whimpered.

Shay was still laying there unconscious, with blood dripping down her face, her mouth slightly open. As Dawson began to assess her partner's injuries she began to cry, not only for Shay but herself. She couldn't stop thinking that if they had not switched positions it would have been her in this position not Shay. She would have done anything to switch positions with her best friend and the woman that held her heart.

Running her hand over Shay's neck she realised the blond woman had no pulse. Dawson frantically started compression, hoping someone would come and help her. The radios were out and she didn't even know if the boys upstairs were alive. She put all her attention and energy on saving Shay.

As she pushed down on Shay's chest she put every ounce of energy she had. She just prayed that help would be with her soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello people! So i was heartbroken that Chicago Fire decided to kill Leslie Shay off! The character had so much still to give to the show i felt they could have done some much with her friendships with Dawson and Kelly! They really did kill her off too soon! Anyways i have decided to write my own story of how i think things should of gone but there is a twist! Have you guessed what it is yet? Thats right! Shawson!

You will have to go easy on me i am new at writing fanfiction! Updates will come but they will be slow as i have College Work to do and Football!

* * *

*Flashback*

Gabriela Dawson couldn't actually pin point the exact moment she fell in love with her best friend. Over the years she and Leslie Shay had been inseparable. At the start of every shift they would get a cup of coffee sit down and chat about random things like the girl Shay had hooked up with or what happened with Kelly.

Dawson had always been jealous when Shay talked about the girls she was or had slept with, but she could never let anyone know. She kept and brave face on and smiled. How was she supposed to tell her best friend she was in love with her? For all accounts Gabriela Dawson was straight and in love with Matt Casey. That's what everyone else thought including Matt. During the relationship the spark Dawson had felt for Casey had fizzled out. They went on the same dates to Molly's, or ate at home. This wasn't what she imagined life with Casey was going to be like. Even making love didn't seem right. But Shay had ignited that spark again in Dawson's heart.

Dawson and Shay had started going out more, or staying in and watching cheesy movies with all the unhealthy food they could find. They would always be close to each other, almost cuddling into each other.

One night while Kelly was out on a date with Erin, Shay and Dawson decided to have a movie marathon, with alcohol. It had been a hard day on the job after losing a 15 year old kid to gunshot wounds. They both took it hard and decided they needed each other's company to forget about a day from hell. The job wasn't easy they were reminded of that every day. However they loved it but days like these hit home.

As the night wore on they both found themselves very tipsy and tired. They had watched Dear John, Bridesmaids and were half way through with Friends With Benefits. They were both snuggled into each other with bottles of brandy and vodka on the table in front of them. Dawson had her head in the crook of Shay's neck while Shay laid her head on top of Dawson's.

As they sat there snuggled into each other Dawson slowly began to fall asleep as she listened to the soothing beat of Shay's heart. She was content where she was and didn't want to let go or move from Shay. She felt safe and loved as she slowly fell into a deep slumber.

Shay was still very much awake as she felt Dawson slowly falling asleep. She knew they couldn't stay in this position or sleep on the couch. She slowly lifted her had of Dawson's and carefully maneuvered herself to be able to pick Dawson up with out waking her up. Lucky for her Gabriela was a heavy sleeper. As she slowly picked her up she realised how beautiful and peaceful she looked. She had always admired Dawson's beauty from the first moment she had met her, but she was straight and in love with Casey. She wanted what was best for Dawson and if that was Casey she would stick by her.

Shay slowly carried Dawson to her bedroom, the alcohol still in her system she took it slowly. Shay had fallen many times while being drunk, she couldn't afford to let her clumsiness happen now. She pushed the door to her bedroom open with her foot and slowly placed Gabriela on the bed, and pulled the covers over her. Shay never made her bed which had come in handy at this moment in time. Shay quickly got changed into a top and shorts and slid into the other side of the bed.

She glanced over at the sleeping Dawson and slowly fell into a deep slumber herself. All the while thinking how amazing it felt when Dawson was cuddling up to her earlier.

*End Flashback*

* * *

Reviews are welcomed! Be nice :)


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys its me again! So i have managed to get this chapter done today! Hope you like it! Any mistakes are mine.. sorry about that!  
Reviews are welcomed!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

Dawson had been continuously doing compression's for a solid minute every push was getting harder and harder. The force of the blast must have done more damage then she realised. Another 30 seconds had gone by until she heard for movements coming from above. The boys upstairs were finally moving. Help, she thought. As she continued with her compression's she felt tears running down her face. She couldn't cry now she though! She had to be strong for Shay! She was hoping and praying that Shay would come back to her.

After another 30 seconds she heard clanging coming down the stairs, she turned lightly and saw Severide looking dazed and confused. He had clearly been struck by falling debris but was alert to what was going on. He stood there not knowing what to say or do.

'Severide she needs help' Dawson whimpered.

Severide shifted into gear running over to help Dawson with bringing Shay back.

'I need you to take over compressions Severide' Dawson commanded 'Severide, on 3. 1, 2, 3'

As Severide took over compressions Dawson began performing mouth to mouth. She hoped this would give Shay a much better chance at coming back. They worked in sync both putting all their energy into bringing Shay back. Dawson looked up at Severide and noticed the tears falling from his eyes they were both in the same situation. They couldn't let Shay die. They both loved her in different ways and they knew life wouldn't be the same without her. As they worked together in sync they could hear more movement coming from above them.

Dawson looked back at the stairs to see Matt, Cruz and Herrmann bustling down the stairs. She quickly turned back and concentrated on Shay. Severide had been doing compressions for a good minute and a half, Dawson new they needed to move Shay now or it would be too late.

'We need to move her now! Severide, Matt, Cruz and Herrmann pick her up gently and carry her to the Ambulance! Now let's move' Dawson horsed.

They all quickly moved into gear two of them at the top of Shay two at the bottom. Lifting her as gently as they could but at a fast pace. They marched out with Dawson in tow straight to the Ambulance. Dawson hoped the equipment on the Ambulance would be enough to bring Shay back to her. Chief Boden marched straight up to them to assess the damage. He could see by the look in Dawson's eyes it wasn't good.

'Dawson, Casey, Severide get Shay to the hospital now!' he said speaking calmly and collectively.

As the boys placed Shay on the backboard Dawson jumped in and started to place the wires and gel pads on Shays chest, Severide joined in the back which left Casey to drive. The doors slammed shut on them just as they were giving Shay the first shock. Casey started the Ambulance and wasted no time in putting his foot down.

'Clear!' Dawson shouted as she applied the paddles to Shay.

Both Dawson and Severide looked intensely at the monitor but there was still no response. Severide continued compression's as the Defibrillator recharged.

'Come on girl, Clear' Dawson bellowed as she applied the paddles again sending more electrodes through Shays body. She watched as Shay's body bunched up with the amount of shock that had been applied but there with still no response.

'MATT! WE NEED TO BE AT THAT HOSPITAL NOW' Dawson screamed as she looked to Shay and then Severide as he started compression's again.

Tires screeched as they reach the emergency room, sirens going off and the lights flashing. Dawson was the first to move not even waiting for the Ambulance to come to a full stop as she pushed the doors open. With the help of Severide she pulled the gurney down from the Ambulance and ran as fast as she could while pushing it along with her.

As she stepped into the emergency room she started to shout out what had happened, what she had done to try and bring her back and what needed to be done. The doctors took over swiftly pushing the gurney through a door and straight into a secluded cubical, leaving Dawson and Severide to watch as she left their eyesight. They knew there was no point in protesting they knew they had done everything they could to help their friend.

Now the waiting game had started.


	4. Chapter 4

Here it is another chapter. No news on Shay yet... Next Chapter!  
Any mistakes are mine.. Sorry!  
Review and Enjoy :)

* * *

Hours had passed while Dawson and Severide sat in the waiting room. The boys had filed in one by one after they had cleared the building. Mills had been brought in the emergency room with a fractured leg. He was going to be out for a good 6 weeks but would make a full recovery. They all sat quietly waiting for news on Shay. They had no idea if she was dead or alive.

Dawson was sat the on her own staring at the floor, she wanted to be alone. She had done everything she possibly could do to bring Shay back. All she could think about is that it should have been her. She should have been the one to be hit on the head with the beam. She should be in Shay's position.

Tears started streaming down Dawson's face while she was having a mental battle with herself. She placed her head in her hands and started to weep, for Shay, for herself, she also cried for Matt he didn't deserve her, she was in love with her best friend and not him. He still didn't know how she really felt.

Matt had noticed Dawson was finally letting go of the emotion she held while trying to save her friend. He walked over and pulled Dawson in to his arms. All he could do was hold her as she sobbed. He had lost many friends while in this business he knew how hard it was. He was never close with Shay but it was always bad when someone from your family was hurt. He had to be strong though, strong for Gabriela and strong for his men.

Severide had been sitting there with no emotions on his face he was never good with emotions. He looked straight ahead, as he heard Dawson sobbing in the distance. He knew he wasn't the only feeling like this, he knew how much Shay meant to Dawson. He knew Dawson wasn't just crying her her best friend, she was crying for the woman that she loved.

He knew Dawson had feelings for Shay, from all the secret glances she would give Shay to being pissed that she was with a girl. It had all pieced together for him, he just wished Shay knew. Dawson was the best person for Shay.

*1 Hour Later*

As time passed on there was still no word on Shay. The men and women of firehouse 51 sat in the waiting room praying that someone would come out and give them news, good news. The door into the waiting room opened and everyone snapped their heads to see who it was. Erin was nervously standing in the doorway. As she walked slowly in they all gave a small smile to her.

Dawson was laying her head on Matt's shoulder, she had stopped sobbing but tears were still falling down her face. Erin knew how much Shay meant to all these people but she meant the world to Dawson and Severide. She spotted him sitting there staring into the distance. She knew he was hurting she just wished she could help him.

Erin slowly made her way over to Severide and carefully sat next to him.

'Hey, I heard about Shay. Has there been any news?' She whispered.

Severide could only shake his head not trusting his voice. He looked so heartbroken and so tired. He slowly turned to her and looked in her eyes.

'She can't die Erin, she can't. She's my best friend' He whispered as his voice cracked.

His emotions had finally won he finally broke down, letting all he was feeling out. He sat there and cried. He cried for Shay and for himself. He couldn't lose her. How was he going to live without Shay? Erin pulled him into her as he cried on her shoulder she gently rubbed her hand up and down his back to give him some comfort. The men of firehouse 51 looked on as Severide broke down they all knew how much Shay meant to him.

'She is strong Kelly she's not going to die! She will come out of this you have to stop thinking like this. She will be fine Kelly. Think off all the good times you have had together and what is to come Kelly. She is going to live' Erin spoke with determination.

Severide continued to cry into Erin's shoulder he knew he shouldn't be thinking like this but he couldn't help it. After seeing Shay not breathing for all that time he couldn't help but think of the worst. Shay was his soul mate. He never believed in soul mate not until he met Shay, he always thought that soul mate were people you fell in love with, people who you get married to. That all changed when he met Shay, she was his best friend and soul mate.

As he continued to cry, the door was pushed open they all turned slowly to see two doctors looking at them with glum faces.

No one moved as they made there way into the middle of the room.

They all held there breath.


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone was staring at the doctors as they stood there, Dawson stood slowly waiting for them to speak she needed to know if Shay was alive. She needed her to be alive. She wouldn't live without her.

'Please tell me' Dawson pleaded with the doctors as she took a step forward.

'The force of the trauma on Miss Leslie Shay's body was great. She suffered a very serious traumatic brain injury along with contusions to her face. She went a long time without oxygen getting to her brain.' Dr Mitchell spoke with sadness

'Please god no... are you saying?' Dawson whispered as she fell to the floor with tears running down her face.

'We managed to revive her, but she flat lined several time while we were operating on her. She is alive but in a coma. We don't know the extent of the damage to her brain at this moment. She is on a ventilator as she cannot breathe on her own. We don't know if she will wake up from this. If she does we don't know the damage that has been done by the brain injury.' Dr Mitchell said.

Everyone looked around at each other tears pouring from their eyes, she was alive but at what cost. Will she ever be the same again? Will she ever wake up? The same two questions swirled around everyone brain.

Dawson was in the middle of the room sobbing, she couldn't believe her best friend was in a coma that she might not wake up from. It was meant to be her in that coma not Shay.

'Can we see her?' Severide managed to croak out. He hadn't stopped crying since the doctors walked in.

'Only two people can see her, she needs time to rest and heal. She has been through a lot today. You only have 10 minute. I suggest the rest of you go home and get some rest.' Dr Wise said in a rough voice.

Severide looked to Dawson and slowly walked over to her, he knew they were the main two people in Shay's life and deserved to be the two to see her. He bent down and looked in to her eyes.

'Come on, let's go see our girl' he whispered as he pulled her up slowly.

They followed the doctors out of the room slowly both clinging on to each other. Severide knew he had to be strong, not only for Shay but for Dawson. She was barely keeping it together. They slowly walked down the corridor until they reached Shay's room. The door was slightly open as the doctors left them.

Severide slowly pushed the door open and was met by his best friend lying there so small and broke with a million different machines around her. He walked in first with Dawson trailing in behind him.

Dawson looked on in fright at Shay's body she couldn't believe it was her best friend in that bed. She had a big white bandage on her head where the doctors had operated. Her face was all bruised and full of contusions. She looked a shadow of her former self. She slowly walked over to Shay and carefully stroked her hand.

'Hey girl, its Gabby you've got to fight. You have to come through this, girl I don't think I can become a fire-fighter without you there.' Dawson whispered as she continued to faintly stroke Shays hand. She was scared she would hurt her even more if she applied more pressure.

'You know how much you mean to me Shay. You need to wake up I need to tell you something. I should have done it a long time ago when I realised, but I was scared' Dawson confessed still at a whisper.

Severide didn't know what to say, he still couldn't get over how small his best friend looked. As he looked on at Dawson he smiled softly the love she had for his best friend was better than any other love she had been given. He slowly walked closer to Shay and picked up her other hand carefully not wanting to disturb any wires or cause any more damage.

'You need to listen to her Shay, you have to fight this. You are the strongest person I know.' Severide whispered as he looked towards Dawson.

'We are all here for you no one has left the waiting room since you came in. You fought hard to get to this point now you have got to fight even harder to wake up. We aren't going to leave your side till you do and you know how cranky I get when I am tired girl.' Dawson said as she chuckled.  
They both stood there stroking her hands until the doctor walked in.

'I am sorry to disturb you but the 10 minutes are up, time to say your goodbyes. You can come back again tomorrow' Mr Wise said.

They both turned and nodded at the doctor. They looked back to Shay and smiled sadly.

'We will be back tomorrow. Don't think about going anywhere' Dawson chucked and gently kissed Shay on the cheek.

'I love you' she whispered in Shay's ear and made her way out of the room leaving Severide to say his goodbyes.

'You

behave yourself don't be pulling any stunts tonight okay?' He whispered and kissed Shay's forehead.

'See you tomorrow' he whispered and slowly made his way out of her room.

He spotted Dawson and they both made their way back to the waiting room they knew Shay wasn't going to be the same if she woke up. She had to wake up.

As Dawson walked back to waiting room she began to think what life would of been like if she had been honest and told Shay she liked her when she realised herself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! 2 chapters in one day boy you are lucky people! Don't expect this too often now!**  
**Hope you like! Please Please review! Would really help! **  
**Any mistakes are mine. Oh i also don't own Chicago Fire.. if I did Shawson would be a thing ;)  
Enjoy :)**

* * *

Two weeks had gone by as Dawson and Severide continued the same routine, go to the hospital, go to work, go to the hospital, and go home. They had gone back to work a week after the accident. Peter Mills had been informed about Shay after he woke up from his surgery and had been released a week later.

The first day back at work was hard Dawson had decided to stay on as a paramedic a 51 she couldn't imagine leaving not when Shay was still in critical condition. Nothing had changed she was still on the ventilator and in a coma. The doctors made sure she was comfortable but that is all they could do at this moment in time. They needed to let Shay's brain heal. They hopped if they gave it time she would come around but they weren't sure if she would.

Dawson and Severide had become closer these past two weeks they were both going through the exact same things, they understood each other and what they were feeling. Dawson had been ignoring Matt for a couple of days he didn't understand why she wanted to be with Shay all the time when she wasn't working. She knew she needed to tell him what she was feeling but she couldn't she was being a coward.

Severide hadn't seen Erin since that day at the hospital he knew he should be making more effort to at least speak to her but he was pouring his time and energy into work and Shay. He knew she would understand.

It was a Friday and things had been hectic at the firehouse they had gotten 2 calls today and both were tough. Dawson was finding it hard to work with her new partner. She didn't know him that well and they didn't have that click she and Shay had. She was missing her so much she knew she just had to get through the day. As the day went on Dawson was getting more and more anxious she just wanted the day to be over.

She was sick of Casey giving her puppy dog eyes whenever she was around him.

'You need to tell him you know' Severide whispered to her as he sat down in the chair next to her 'It's only going to make things worse the longer you don't '

'You don't think I know that Severide. What am I meant to say to him?' She whispered 'Hi Matt, I can't accept your marriage proposal also we have to break up because I am in love with my best friend who is in a coma and may not survive. I hope we can still be friends!' She growled at him.

Severide was slightly shocked by Dawson's reaction and even more shocked by what she had just told him. He had no idea Matt had proposed to her.

'I... I had no idea he proposed Dawson why didn't you say anything?' He whispered looking shocked and confused.

'I didn't even answer him Severide we got the call and then boom. I haven't even spoken to him about it. How could I?' She whispered looking down at the floor 'I can't speak to him about it I have to focus on Shay' she said as she got up and walked to the locker.

He watched as she walked out of the room, he still didn't quite believe what he had heard. He thought that Matt would have said something. He then realised he hadn't really spoken to anyone these past two weeks. Hell he hadn't even gone to see Mills.

He slowly got up and walked to the locker area to find Dawson.

'Dawson' He bellowed looked around. He spotted her sitting on the floor with her back against Shay's locker.

He slowly made his way over to her and sat down next to her.

'I'm sorry Gabby. I didn't know that he proposed. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now' He whispered as he leaned his head against the cool metal.

'I just want her to be okay Severide. I want... no need for her to come round. I can't do this much longer without her. She's my rock, my world. I love her Severide she needs to know that' She whispered as tears flowed down her face. She hated being weak, she wanted to be strong.

'She won't be in this coma forever Gabby, you just have to realise when she does come around it might not be the Shay we grew to love. You have to sort things out with Matt. He deserves to know and it needs to happen before Shay comes around' He whispered as he put his arm around her.

'I know' She repeated over and over again into his chest.

They sat there for 10 minutes until Gabby had calmed down, shift was almost over so they decided to leave early and go to the hospital to see Shay. After being there every day the nurses started to acknowledge them as they arrived.

They made their way into Shay's room and sat on either side of her. They would both tell stories of how their days went. Gabby would complain about her partner and how he didn't live up to Shay's standards. Afterwards they would sit there and look sadly at Shay. They knew it would take time for Shay's brain to heal but they both wanted it happen a lot faster. They just wanted their best friend back.

Dawson looked over at Severide and began to think about everything he said in the locker area. She knew he was right Matt didn't deserve this he needed to know as soon as possible.

'I'm going to tell him tonight' She spoke softly almost like she didn't want to wake Shay up.

'You can crash at our place after if you want. I don't think it will all go down too well' He spoke with calmness in his voice. He knew Casey wouldn't take this good he just hopped Gabby would go through with it, for Casey's sake but also for Shay.

They sat there for another five minutes in silence the only noise was the beep of the machines that were keeping Shay alive.

As they gathered there things to leave all hell broke loose. Shay's machines started beeping rapidly noises were coming from other machines. Shay's heartbeat was in the 100's. Nurses and doctors rushed to Shay's bedside. Dawson and Severide clung to each other as they were ushered out of the room. The door shutting on them as they stood there looking blankly at the door.

They had no idea what was going on.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long college has been kicking my ass along with getting injured hasn't helped my mood  
To be honest with you I did struggle with this chapter but I stuck with it and smashed it out! Longest chapter yet!  
Anyways I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to review please will really give me the motivation to write the next chapter quicker ;)  
Any mistakes are mine sorry!

* * *

They had been waiting for an hour in the waiting room. They had been quickly ushered out of Shay's room when the machines had been blaring. They hadn't a clue what was happening. Dawson was trying to figure out what happened.

She was pacing up and down the waiting room going over everything in her head. She hadn't stopped she was thinking the worst. Had it been something she done? She finally stopped and slowly sat down on the chair next to Severide. As she laid her head on his shoulder she closed her eyes. After not sleeping properly these past weeks and the stress of waiting to find out about Shay she was tired. She slowly slipped off into a slumber.

***Dawson's Dream/Flashback***

_Dawson was on edge all week, she had realised that she did in fact like her best friend Shay. Part of her wanted these feelings but the other part didn't. She was in love with Matt wasn't she? They had been going out for 2-3 months. She always had feelings for Matt Casey, so why now did she doubt them?_

_As she sat in the locker room staring off into space she realised how close her and Shay really were. They knew each other inside and out no matter what happened they would always turn to each other first. They could never go more than a day without talking. _

_Shay walked into the break room to see Dawson just sitting there with a blank face. She knew she was having an internal battle with herself so she just let her get on with it. She started to undress and get ready to go out on a date. She hoped this would be better than the last one._

_Dawson didn't really notice Shay had walked in until she turned to see Shay standing at her locker in just her bra and pants. As she stared at the creamy flesh on show her face started to burn up. She had seen Shay like this loads of times when they both got undressed after shift, why now was she acting like this? _

_Shay turned to see Dawson staring at her with rosy red cheeks._

_'__Dawson am I turning you on?' Shay purred at Dawson while winking at her._

_Dawson tore her eyes away to look Shay in the face, turning even redder. 'Wh... what? Pffft you wish Shay' Dawson stuttered out while turning to her locker. _

_'__I keep telling you it's not too late to turn. I mean sure Matt is all dreamy but the ladies are out of this world!' Shay said _

_'__Just look at me for example' She chuckled._

_Dawson hid her face in the locker as she whispered 'I have'_

_'__What was that? I couldn't hear you properly with your head shoved in your locker' Shay spoke as she started to put her date outfit on._

_Dawson looked like a dear trapped in the headlights she couldn't believed she said that out loud._

_'__Nothing just agreeing with you on Matt' Dawson said while putting on a smile 'You getting ready for your date?' She asked while pealing her top off._

_'__Yeah I can't wait girl, food, alcohol, hot chick! My night is going to be fun' Shay laughed as she pulled her pants down. _

_Dawson whipped around as she was going to reply but the words stopped as she saw Shay's legs. She always knew her best friend was beautiful but when she really looked at her she was stunning. She quickly looked away before she was caught for the second time._

_'__Sure sounds like it' Dawson spoke with a hint of jealousy._

_She didn't understand why she was jealous. She and Shay were best friends nothing more and they never would be. She was in with Casey after pining over him for so long. _

_'__No need to get jealous girl. You know you're my number 1' Shay chuckled._

_Shay slowly moved to the sink and looked at herself and smirked at Dawson's reaction. _

_'__Right that's me done. I will see you tomorrow' Shay spoke as she collected her bag and slammed her locker shut and walked out of the locker room. _

_'__Yeah see you tomorrow' Dawson muted as she finished getting changed._

_Dawson was at home thinking about everything, did she really love Matt? Were these feelings for Shay stronger than the ones she had for Matt? All of these thoughts were spilling around in her head and she couldn't handle it. _

_As she began to think about Shay and what they had she realised she did indeed have feelings for Shay and they weren't of the best friend nature. The little touches and glances they had, they always went to each other first after something bad had happened. _

_Dawson sat there and realised she wanted Shay not Matt, she had to tell her before it was too late. She gathered her stuff and marched out the door in a determined fashion. _

_As she walked into Molly's she spotted Shay in a booth with her date. Dawson had totally forgotten that she was on a data. As she debated whether or not to go up to her Shay had noticed Dawson standing there. _

_'__Sorry one minute' Shay said to her date and walked up to Dawson._

_'__I didn't think you would be here tonight. Is everything okay?' Shay whispered to Dawson._

_'__Yes...no. I need to talk to you... privately' Dawson whispered as she pulled Shay with her._

_'__Gabby I can't just leave my date! Can't this wait?' Shay whispered furiously._

_'__No it can't! We need to talk now! Go tell your date that your best friend needs you!' Dawson spat out at Shay. She turned and walked out of Molly's hoping that Shay would follow. _

_Shay stood there looking at the door where Dawson had just stormed out of. She turned back and walked slowly to her date._

_'__I'm sorry to do this but my best friend needs me' Shay said apologetically. She was having a good time but didn't think it would last past the one date._

_'__It's okay don't worry your best friend needs you I get it. If you want to have another date you have my number' her date who was called Sherry said as she slid out of the both._

_Shay smiled sweetly at her and began on her mission to find what the hell was up with Dawson. As she walked out the door she spotted her leaning against the side of Molly's. She marched up to her demanding to know why she was acting like this. _

_'__What is wrong with you? I get it you need me, I am your best friend but to waltz in and demand to speak to me in private when I was in the middle of a date?' Shay shouted at Dawson. She knew she shouldn't have raised her voice but she couldn't help it._

_Dawson stood there looking Shay in directly in her eyes she could see the passion and fire in her eyes. She had really pissed Shay off._

_'__I'm sorry. Look okay I needed to speak with you straight away okay? It couldn't wait!' Dawson pleaded at Shay._

_'__What was so important that we need to discuss right away?' Shay asked. _

_'__I..I god I don't even know how to say this...' Dawson stumbled on her words. This was becoming increasingly harder. She knew she had to tell Shay but she was scared that Shay wouldn't feel the same._

_'__Spit it out Dawson.' Shay fired. _

_Dawson didn't know how she was going to word it she was scared and nervous. She did the only thing that would get her point across without words. She grabbed Shay and pulled her close and planted her lips soundly on Shays._

_Shay was shocked when she felt Dawson's lips upon hers. She didn't know what was happening. Her best friend was kissing her. She pulled away and looked at Gabby in shock._

_'__What was that?' Shay whispered to Dawson._

_'__That's what I needed to tell you Shay. I... I have feelings for you' Dawson whispered as she looked down at the floor. _

_Shay was in even more shock at what Dawson had just said. She would never in her wildest dreams imagine that Gabby would have feelings for her. Shay had always harboured feelings towards Dawson but she would never let anyone know about them until now. She slowly lifted Gabby's chin up with her finger and looked into her eyes. _

_'__Dawson... I've always felt the same... I could never let you know though because you are straight' Shay chuckled 'well were straight. I wasn't the most subtle person with the little touches and glances' Shay whispered_

_Dawson couldn't help but cry she wasn't sad at all for the first time she was crying tears of happiness. They both slowly leaned as their lips met in the middle sparks flew. This is what it was meant to feel like._

***End of Flashback/Dream***

Severide had been sat there for a good hour with sleeping Dawson on his shoulder he hopped a doctor would come by soon because his arm was going numb.

'Shay' Dawson moaned

Severide couldn't help but chuckle it sounded like his friend was having a good dream. The shaking from his laugh woke Dawson up. As she groggily came around and wiped the sleep from her eyes she could see Severide smirking at her.

'What are you smirking at?' She whispered as she stretched her arms.

'Oh nothing really it just sounded like a really good dream' He said whispering seductively with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Dawson looked like a deer caught in the headlights, had she really been speaking during her sleep? Dawson went to reply to Severide but the words stopped on her lips as the door to the waiting room opened.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey there! Thank you so much for the reviews! Gave me more determination to get this chapter smashed out!  
Hope you like it!:)  
Any mistakes.. Sorry!  
Please review!

* * *

Doctor Wise walked through the door with a glum face. Both Dawson and Severide stood up and walked towards him. Dawson gave him no time to talk as she started questioning him.

'Is she okay?' Dawson rushed out.

'I think you should both sit down' Dr Wise spoke slowly becoming them to sit down.

They both looked at each other as their hearts broke they knew it couldn't be good. All three of them sat down.

'Tell us please' Dawson pleaded. She needed to know if her best friend was dead. She wanted to brace herself.

'Miss Shay started to show signs of emerging from her coma but she started to bleed again from her head wound. We managed to stop the bleeding in surgery but the damage to her brain may have gotten worse.' Dr Wise spoke slowly. He didn't want to bombard them with information.

'Wait...' Dawson whispered. 'She's awake?'

'Well she is off the breathing machine but she is still under sedation. We want to give her a few more days before we try and wake her up. We don't know if her brain is functioning to its full protection' Dr wise spoke making sure they both understood the severity of the situation.

'I must warn you not to get your hopes up. She may not know who you are when she comes around. She may not remember what happened or who she is' He spoke with great sadness.

Dawson and Severide both took a sharp intake of breath. They both knew that this was a possibility from the start but to hear the doctor say those words out loud made it all too real. Dawson didn't want to cry she had spent too much of her time crying. She sat there with a cold stone face trying to be strong for Shay.

'Can we go back and see her?' Severide whispered.

'Of course but only for 10 minutes she needs the rest after the trauma of the surgery.' Dr Wise spoke as he stood up to give them the space and privacy they needed.

They both thanked him as he walked out of the room. As they sat there and though about everything the doctor had said they both realised they needed to tell everyone else. Dawson also realised she needed to tell Matt.

They figured that those things could wait till after they had been to seen Shay. They walked slowly into Shay's room not knowing what to think. They tentatively walked up to Shay's bed and looked sadly on at her. They knew she was improving but at what costs? Would their best friend ever be the same?

Only time would answer their questions.

'Hey girl' whispered Dawson 'you gave us another scare there. What did I tell you about that?' she chuckled.

She wanted to lighten up the tense situation they were all in.

'You just get better okay?' She whispered as she kissed Shay's forehead 'I will see you soon'

She didn't even bother to stay and listen to Severide say goodnight she just wanted to get home.

Severide looked at the door and back at Shay he knew how much it was getting to Dawson but he just wanted to focus on Shay in that moment.

'You really are hard work eh?' He chuckled 'you are scaring both of us so much Shay. You need to stop okay?' he whispered roughly.

'Just get better for mine and Gabby's sake please' He pleaded as a tear ran down his face.

He kissed her on the forehead and walked out hoping something good would happen soon.

*30 minutes later*

Dawson had walked home in the crisp cold air of Chicago. She loved it here. Not so much the temperatures.

As she rounded the corner to her house she began thinking about what she could say to Matt, no matter how she worded it she was going to break his heart. She trudged to the door and opened it slowly. It was now or never she though.

'Gabby' Matt hollered 'Where have you been? You were gone for 5 hours without a phone call' He spoke with obvious worry.

'At the hospital something happened with Shay. I had to stay till I knew she was okay' She spoke calmly as she moved out of the way of Matt's gaze.

She walked into the kitchen and pulled the top cabinet open. The only way she was going to get through this was with some liquid courage.

'I take it she's okay now though?' Matt asked as she returned into the living room.

He looked down at the glass and bottle in Gabby's hand and back up to her face with worry on his face.

'Oh she's right as rain! Fantastic in fact' Dawson spat out.

She knew she shouldn't snap at Matt he hadn't done anything wrong. She moved to sit down on the couch and poured herself a glass of whisky and downed it. The whisky burned her throat but she needed it to even begin with this convocation she needed to have.

'Sorry, it's been a long day okay' She whispered before she poured herself another glass.

'It's okay I get it she's your best friend' He whispered tentatively as he sat down near her.

Gabby looked up at him with sympathy he was a good guy and didn't deserve what was about to happen.

'She's not just my best friend Matt...' She whispered to him looking anywhere but at him.

'I know that Gabby she means so much more to you' He whispered not getting at where she was going with this.

'Yeah she does she means more to me than I would of ever though...' She spoke before taking a sip of the whisky.

'I know this Gabby. Listen she will be okay I believe that she will come out of this soon okay' He spoke with confidence as he inched his way closer to Gabby.

'You don't know though Matt.' she spoke with determination.

'Answer me this. How do you think our relationship is going? 'she spoke as she turned and looked at him.

'I don't understand why you are asking this' He whispered confused.

'Just answer it' She snapped.

'Okay... well I think it's going well. In fact great I mean we live together and are going to get married I mean you are it for me.' He spoke with a goofy smile on his face.

'That's it Matt I haven't even answered the question yet you assume I am going to say yes. You think this relationship is going great. Well your wrong Matt!' Gabby shouted furiously.

She quickly downed the rest of the whisky in her glass and poured herself another. She shouldn't be drinking this much. She had not eaten in a while and she could feel the alcohol going to her head.

'What?' Matt whispered.

'I haven't been happy for the last couple of months Matt... the spark we once had has faded...' She whispered as tears slowly made their way down her cheeks.

'Yes you have, you always have a smile on your face when you are around me!' He shouted.

'Who else has been around when I have a smile on my face Matt? Who is the one person I go to when I am sad? Who is that one person who knows me better then you do? Who?' She whispered all the emotions she had been feeling for weeks were finally making their way out.

Matt stood there thinking about what and who Gabby was on about. As he began to think it all became clear to him.

Shay.

'No' He whispered furiously 'No' He shouted at her.

'I am so sorry Matt' She choked out 'I can't help how I feel'

'How long?' He demanded.

'How long have you two been screwing each other?' He screamed.

'No Matt... No! I wouldn't do that behind your back! She doesn't even know Matt! She doesn't know how I feel about her and she may never be the Shay we knew' She screamed at him.

She couldn't believe that he would think she could do something like that to him. She wasn't a cheater.

'How do you expect me to believe that? You haven't been happy for the last couple of month's right? What stopped you from telling her?' He shouted in her face.

Gabby slowly backed away from Matt she had never seen him this mad before.

'You!' She screamed at him 'I couldn't do that to you'.

' Of course' he scoffed 'Poor miss Gabriela Dawson doesn't want to break anyone's heart. Too late for that'

'I am sorry Matt... I didn't mean for this to happen! You have to believe me' She pleaded to him.

'I don't have to believe anything you say.' Matt spat out.

'Get out' He whispered.

'What?' Gabby asked shocked at him.

'I said get out!' He screamed as he pushed her out the door.

Gabby stood there in the freezing cold sobbing. She knew that this wasn't going to go well but she never imagined it to happen like this. How could he kick her out of the house she co-owned with him? What about all her stuff?

She slowly perched herself on the door step and pulled her phone out. She scrolled for Severide's number she remembered what he had said to her at the hospital.

'Hello' Severide answered with concern.

'Severide can you come pick me up please' She pleaded at a whisper.

'Gabby what's wrong' Severide asked.

'I er... I told Matt' She whispered as more tears fell down her face.

'I am on my way. Don't move' He rushed out as he walked out the door and ended the call.

Gabby sat there waiting for Severide to arrive she knew he wouldn't be long as he was probably breaking every law he could to come and get her. She loved the protective side to Severide. As she sat there she began to think about how she was free to tell Shay how she felt with nothing stopping her now. She just hopped that Shay would wake up soon. As she began to get lost in thought she noticed a car pull up outside the house.

'Gabby' Severide hurried out 'Come on let's get you home. You must be freezing'

'I'm fine' She whispered out with her teeth chattering.

Severide gently guided her to the passenger side of the car and slowly shut the door on her. He rushed round the other side and slammed the door shut quickly putting the heating on hoping it would warm her up soon.

'Do you need me to go get you any clothes?' He whispered.

'No just get me away from here please' She pleaded at him.

'Okay I'm sure Shay's will fit you' He hurried out.

As the car slowly peeled away from the house Dawson looked back and realised that a chapter in her life was over.

A new one was coming and she hopped it involved Shay.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! So sorry about the wait!  
I have been so busy this week with football and college!  
Thank you for the reviews please keep them coming!  
Anyways hope you like it :)

* * *

Severide had got Dawson home as quick as he could. He knew that she wouldn't want to talk as he guided her through the door.

'Shay's clothes are in her room. You can use her shower to get warm' Severide spoke as he guided her to the kitchen.

He started rummaging through the little food they had in the house.

'I will make you some food while you get changed and washed. Don't argue because I could smell the alcohol and I know you haven't eaten for a while' Severide spoke with a small smile as he placed the food on the counter.

Dawson let a small smile grace her face Severide was a really good friend. No matter what differences they had in the past she knew she was lucky to have him as her friend. She walked round the bench and gave him a hug. She needed it after the day she had.

'Thank you Severide' She whispered into his chest.

She stayed there for a good 10 seconds soaking in the love she needed from Severide. He always gave good hugs and that is what she needed. She slowly pealed herself away and made her way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

She quickly got in the shower desperate to wash away everything that had happened today. She had never intended to hurt Matt but she couldn't have stayed unhappy for another day. She felt relieved that she had told him but she wasn't prepared for the backlash that was going to happen at work.

She stayed in the shower for a good 20 minutes letting the water cascade down her face as she lent her arm against the wall. She was physically and emotionally drained. As the water fell down her face she let out a heartbreaking sob. She cried for Shay for Severide and for herself. How had everything gotten so messed up?

She finally emerged from the shower feeling clean and a lot warmer. She quickly walked into Shay's bedroom and started rummaging for some clothes she could sleep in. She found an old college top and boy shorts as she put them on she could smell Shay. She felt safe and warm in Shay's clothes. As she began making her way out of the room she spotted a sweatshirt of Shay's lying on the floor.

She bent down to pick it up and realised that in fact it was the sweatshirt she had lost a few months ago. She smiled to herself as she realised that Shay must have borrowed it and never gave it back. As she brought it up to her nose she could smell a mix of herself and Shay on the sweatshirt. She quickly put it on and made her way out of Shay's room.

She made her way down the last step all bundled up in Shay's clothes and spotted Severide in the kitchen. She slowly made her way over to him and sat down on one of the chairs. He looked up from his food and smiled as he noticed what she was wearing.

'She always wore that in the house.' He chuckled softly.

'I didn't even know she had it. I always thought I had lost it' She replied with a small smile.

'Are you feeling any better after that shower?' He whispered worryingly.

'A bit yeah. I just don't want to think about it anymore' She whispered sadly as she snuggled into the sweatshirt.

'I know. Just making sure you are okay Gabby. I am always here for you if you need to talk about anything. Okay?' He whispered as he leaned across and softly stroked her hand.

'Thank you Severide. I don't know what I would have done without you these past weeks' She replied sadly.

'That is what friends are for' He smiled pulling away to eat the rest of his food.

'Make yourself at home make whatever you want. Not that there is much in.' He chuckled.

She stood up from the chair and made her way to the fridge. She wasn't that hungry but she knew she needed food after the alcohol she had during the talk with Matt.

Could it be even classed as a talk? It was more like a shouting match. She knew that Matt wouldn't take it well but she didn't think that he would react like that.

'Erin is coming by in about an hour I can call her and tell her not to. It's up to you' He spoke as she poked her head in the fridge.

'She can come I will be asleep by then. I just need some food and then I am off to sleep.' She whispered as she pulled ham and butter out of the fridge.

'Okay if you need anything just call down and I will be up there in a flash.' He replied softly.

'Thanks' She horsed out.

She moved around the kitchen to get the bread she knew that this wouldn't be enough but she just wanted to go to sleep. She quickly made her sandwich and ate it just as fast. She knew if she was awake for much longer she would go back to thinking about what had happened.

'Night Severide' She whispered as she walked past him.

'Night Gabby. Sleep well' He replied with a look of sadness.

He knew that she was going through a lot he just hopped that sleep would help her. Who she really needed at this moment was Shay he thought.

She slowly climbed the stairs almost dragging herself to bed. She was exhausted. As she climbed into bed she pulled the covers right up and wrapped them around her tightly. She slowly let her eyes close as she fell into a deep slumber.

Severide finally moved from his seat when he heard Gabby walk into Shay's room. He knew that Erin was dropping by so he decided to tidy the place up a bit. He knew that Erin wouldn't mind the mess but he needed something to do.

He must have zoned out during his cleaning mission because he heard a knock on the door. As he looked up at the clock on the wall he realised that an hour had gone by. He quickly rushed over to the door and let Erin in.

'Hey there' He whispered to her as she walked past him.

'Hey have you been doing some cleaning Kelly?' She chuckled looking around at the place.

'Ah you caught me' He chuckled 'I wanted to tidy the place up a bit. Shay would kill me if she saw the state this place has been in'

'Well the place is looking nice' She smiled.

She slowly walked over to the couch and sat down motioning for Severide to join her. He made his way over to the couch knowing that he needed to talk to Erin he just didn't want to cry again. He needed to be strong for Shay and for Gabby. They both needed him. He slowly sat down and turned towards Erin.

'How are you Severide?' She whispered with concern and worry.

'I'm okay' He horsed out not daring to look Erin in the eye.

'Severide you need to tell me the truth. You haven't spoken to anyone about what has happened with Shay. You have put up the hard man exterior always being there for Gabby and everyone else but you need to think about yourself in this moment. So how are you really?' She spoke slowly making sure he understood that he could tell her everything and anything.

'I...I'm...' He stuttered

'I'm scared. I want my best friend to be okay. I want her to wake up and know who I am. I want Gabby to be happy again.' He whispered sadly.

'It's okay to be scared Kelly. It is a normal reaction to what you are going through. As for Gabby you can't be responsible for that. She is going through a lot too. You will both be happy again because Shay is going to wake up soon. Remember what I told you at the hospital. Shay is strong' She whispered pulling Severide in.

He knew that everything she was saying was right he just whished that this had not happened. They sat there for a good hour before Kelly's phone began to ring.

He quickly moved out of Erin's arms and walked into the kitchen to retrieve his phone. As he picked up his phone he realised who was calling. It was Lakeshore Hospital. His hands began to shake as he answered it.

'Hello' He horsed into the phone. He was scared of what was about to happen.

'Hello Mr Severide. This is Dr Wise I have some news for you and Miss Dawson' He spoke calmly.

'Oh god please have good new Dr Wise. I can't take bad news' He whispered as tears slowly fell down is face.

'Mr Severide it is good news. I think you and Miss Dawson should come down to the hospital to see for yourself.' Dr Wise spoke with a small on his face.

'We will be there as soon as possible' He rushed out ending the call.

He didn't have time to think before he ran upstairs to wake Gabby up. He flung the door open and turned on the light.

'Gabby. Gabby! Wake up now we need to go to the hospital! It's Shay! She is awake' He bellowed as he flung the covers off her.

Gabby had no idea what was happening the only part of the sentence she heard was 'She is awake'. She sprang into action scrambling out of bed trying to find some joggers to put on. They both rushed down the stairs to find Erin standing there. He had forgotten to tell her as he was so focused on getting Gaby.

'Crap Erin ... I am sorry..' He began before she stepped in.

'It's okay I heard you what you said upstairs. Let me drive you okay' She smiled as they all rushed to the car.

Erin started the car in record time and pulled away from the house, she flicked on the flashing lights and put her foot down. She wasn't even on duty but she figured that they needed to be there as soon as possible.

Erin got them there in record time. They didn't even wait till she had come to a full stop before they flung themselves out of the car. They didn't care they just wanted to see Shay now. After all this time their best friend was awake.

They sprinted into the hospital not waiting for Erin they figured she would find them. They skipped the elevator and decided to go up the stairs. Those months of training to become a fire-fighter were about to be put to the test. They climbed up three flights of stairs in record time. Both out of breath they slowed down but still kept a fast pace.

They rounded the corner on Shay's floor and noticed Dr Wise standing at the nurses' station he was obviously waiting for them. Both their hearts were racing like made from the exercise. They were both nervous for what was about to happen they had no idea if Shay was going to remember them.

They approached Dr Wise and slightly tapped him on his shoulder not trusting their voices.

'Ahh there you are I knew you would be here quick' He chuckled.

They both gave him a small smile and waited for him to carry on.

'Now then as you can both guess Miss Shay is awake and responsive' He spoke slowly as he watched their faces break out in to smiles.

'Now she is still weak and is very tired but we need to know if she remembers you' He whispered seriously.

Both Severide and Dawson looked at each other they knew that this could be the downfall to the good news.

'Can we see her now please? I need to know if she knows who I am before I get my hopes up' Dawson horsed.

'Of course but I suggest you go in one at a time.' He whispered.

The three of them walked towards Shay's room slowly. They all stopped just short of the room.

'Who is going first?' He asked.

'I will' Dawson whispered.

'Okay you need to make it fast. We don't want to cause more trauma to Miss Shay. If she doesn't know who you are please try and not react it will upset her and she needs to stay calm' He whispered as he gave her a small pat on the shoulder.

Dawson took in a deep breath hoping to calm the nerves that were evident. She put one step in front of the other and walked into Shay's room.

All she could do now was hope.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys! So here is the next installment of this story!  
To be honest i struggled writing this chapter but stuck with it!  
Please keep the reviews coming in they inspire me to make this story even better and to write more!  
More reviews means faster written chapter ;)  
Any mistakes are mine. Sorry About that  
Oh and follow me on twitter pottsy000 where i will post a piece from the next chapter!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

Severide stood there as he watched Dawson take that final step into Shay's room he prayed that she would come out with a smile rather than disappointment. He lent against the wall and took a deep breath as the wait began.

Dawson stood frozen in the doorway to Shay's room she knew she was out of the view of Severide and Dr Wise. She was scared of what could happen in the next minute. She stood there and breathed deeply to help her nerves. As she began to move her feet slowly she heard a small voice.

'I can hear you. Whoever you are come out so I can see you.' Shay croaked out.

Dawson stood there in shock how did Shay know someone was stood there? Dawson took one final breath before moving her feet one small step at a time. As she rounded the corner that had blocked Shay from her she held her breath.

She stood there just looking at Shay she still looked small and fragile but her skin had some colour in it and the most important thing was she was awake.

'Hey' Dawson whispered.

She didn't dare move forward just in case Shay didn't know who she was. Shay laid there staring at Dawson her face blank as if she had no idea who she was before she finally broke out in to a small smile.

'Hey girl. Miss me?' Shay croaked her voice still sore from just waking up.

Dawson stood there speechless again all this time she didn't think her best friend would remember her but there she was talking to her as if nothing had happened. She couldn't stop the tears from falling as she walked towards Shay's bed.

'You remember me?' She sobbed out.

'Who could forget you?' Shay joked softly.

Dawson reached out to touch Shays hand and gave her a serious look through her tears.

'Shay now isn't the time to joke.' She whispered as she gently stroked Shay's hand.

'Aww you're no fun' Shay replied.

Dawson stared on in awe it was like Shay had not been in a coma 3 weeks. She was laying there cracking jokes like she always did.

'Now we all know that isn't true.' Dawson chuckled with a wink 'I need you to answer me something okay?'

Shay just gave her a nod her throat was hurting her from the few sentences she was able to spring together.

'Do you remember what happened?' Dawson croaked out.

She really didn't want to go back to what happened that day when she forced Shay to change places with her. It was her fault Shay was in this hospital bed.

'To be honest...' Shay started before coughing.

Dawson was quick to react and moved round to fill the cup that was on the side with water. She quickly moved back and gently placed the straw in Shay's mouth willing her to have a drink. Shay quickly latched on and took 3 big sips to help south her throat. She pulled back signalling for Dawson to put the cup out of the way.

'You feel better?' Dawson whispered with a small smile.

'Yeah thanks. So back to the question... I can't remember what it was...' Shay replied as she looked straight ahead.

Dawson didn't think much too it when she replied 'I asked if you remembered what happened?' She replied quickly.

'Honestly no I can't even remember that day.' Shay replied with no emotion in her voice.

'What happened to me Gabby?'Shay asked as she turned her head slowly to look at Gabby.

'Shay now isn't the right time to talk about it. I am only allowed a few minutes with you. I think there is someone else that needs to speak to you' Gabby rushed out.

'Oh okay maybe another day then' Shay replied with a small smile.

Gabby looked at her with a guilt ridden face she knew that she would have to tell Shay that it was her fault that she was in that hospital bed. She just hoped that Shay would forgive her even if she hadn't forgiven herself.

'I'm going to go. I will come see you tomorrow after shift' Dawson whispered as she softly kissed Shay on her forehead.

'Okay' Shay whispered.

Gabby turned to walk out of the door as she took the first few breaths she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She couldn't believe that she remembered her. As she made her way round the corner she saw Severide standing and she couldn't help but break out into a big smile. She quickly made her way over to him she couldn't wait to tell him the good news.

'Severide...' She whispered gaining his attention.

He quickly moved off the wall so he was stood directly in front of her. As he took her in he noticed she was smiling and there were no tears he took that as the best news possible.

'She remembers you?' He whispered with joy.

'Yeah she remembers me Severide!' She shouted with glee.

She was ecstatic but she also knew that there was a long way to go.

'It's your turn now' She whispered as she turned to look at Shay's room 'She will remember you'

Severide could only nod he was so nervous he couldn't help but think she may not remember him she may only remember Gabby. He took a deep breath and with a little shove from Dawson he made his way to Shay's room.

As he took the first steps into Shay's room he could feel and hear his heart beating so fast. Each step he took it got faster and louder. As he rounded the corner he saw that Shay was looking directly at him.

'Hi' He whispered.

'Severide' She whispered as tears fell down her face.

He quickly rushed over to Shay's side and slowly picked her hand up.

'I'm here. God you scared me Shay I thought I had lost you for good this time' He cried to her.

He knew that he shouldn't be saying all this as Shay was only just coming around but his emotions were getting the best of him.

'I know I'm sorry Kelly' She croaked out as tears cascaded down her face.

'I'm so relieved that you are awake Shay. We... didn't think you would make it' He whispered.

'I don't even remember that day Kelly. My mind is blank.' She replied as her mind started working overtime to try and remember what happened.

'It's okay Shay the doctor will have an explanation for that you just rest okay? Me and Gabby will be back tomorrow and no doubt that the rest of the fire house will come along too' He spoke quietly.

He knew that she was still in a bad place so he didn't want Shay to work herself up worrying about that day. He shuddered as he through about it. The memory was still lodged in his mind and he didn't think it would go away until Shay was 100% better.

'I can't wait to see everyone' She replied with a small smile.

'They will be happy to know you are awake' Kelly replied as he realised no one apart from him, Erin and Gabby knew she was awake.

All Shay could do was smile at him. The 10 minutes she had spent talking to both Gabby and Kelly had worn her out. She knew she needed to sleep but she wanted to spend as much time with her best friends as possible.

Kelly could see that Shay was battling with herself to stay awake and he knew that she needed rest in order to get better quickly. He just wanted her out of this bed and at home with him where she belonged.

'I know you are tired so I am going to go home okay? You get your rest so you can come home quickly.' Severide whispered as Shay began to lose the battle.

'Okay. Kelly..' She whispered gaining his attention 'I love you'.

'I love you too Shay' He replied with a small smile.

He slowly bent down and kissed Shay on her forehead before making his way out of her room but not before he looked back and saw that she was out like a light. He chuckled softly Shay had always been able to get to sleep so quickly. He steadily made his way to where Gabby and Dr Wise were standing and greeted them with a small smile. Dr Wise was the first one to speak.

'I can see she remembers you both which is a good sign but there is a long road ahead of her. Miss Shay's muscles have deteriorated slightly due to being in a coma so she will have physical therapy when she is fit enough but saying that we still need to check if she remembers how to walk' He spoke with calmness as well as sadness.

Both Kelly and Gabby could only look at each other with glum faces they thought that Shay was going to be fine if she could remember them both then surly she can remember how to walk right?

'Wait are you saying she can't walk?' Dawson asked confused.

'I am not saying that but due to the injury to the head that Miss Shay has there is a possibility her motor skills may have been damaged in the surgery's we had to perform. Miss Dawson you should understand the affects brain surgery can have on patients. There is also one more thing.' Dr Wise replied wanting them both to understand that there was a lot still left to do.

'What is it doc?' Kelly asked instantly.

'Miss Shay may have problems retaining information. Her medical knowledge may be compromised due to the time that went before oxygen got to her brain along with the ordeal she went through.' Dr Wise replied.

'Wait... So are you saying she can't be a paramedic anymore?' Gabby asked in fear.

'I am not saying that, I am just saying if she were to return to being a paramedic then she may experience problems like gaps in her vocabulary. We still have a long way to go with Miss Shay. We need to fully asses her tomorrow to see the full extent of the damage to her brain and her functions. It will all become clear soon' Dr Wise spoke with calmness 'Now both of you should go home and get some rest tomorrow is another day'

Both Gabby and Severide were just left in shock as Dr Wise left them to go see to another patient. They both thought that Shay was out of the woods and everything was going to be fine. They had no idea what was about to come.

'I should have known it wouldn't have been that simple' Gabby groaned 'I am a paramedic for crying out loud. Why didn't I see something like this coming? Of course she wasn't going to be okay just like that. God I can't believe I was so naive'

'Come on Gabby stop being so hard on yourself we both didn't think of the consequences. We only though about if Shay didn't remember us. We have to look at the positives she is awake and knows who we are. That is a victory for today. Tomorrow is a new day. She is strong and she will be able to deal with anything that stops her from being who she was before.' Kelly spoke with pride.

He knew that they were both naive in thinking it was going to be plain sailing for Shay but she had the whole of firehouse 51 and the gang at Chicago PD behind her. She had all the support she needed to pull through this.

He gently put his arm around Gabby's shoulder and whispered to her 'She will be okay. Now let's go home and get some sleep. Big day tomorrow'

Kelly kept his arm there as he guided her out the hospital where he spotted Erin standing there waiting for them. She was leaning against her car looking up at the sky. As they walked over to her she noticed two figures making their way towards her. She looked over and could see it was Kelly and Gabby she hoped it was good news.

'Hey. Did she remember you?' She horsed out.

'Yeah she remembered both of us' Kelly replied with a small smile.

'But?' Erin replied she knew that he was holding something back.

'She has a long road ahead of her that can either get worse or get better. The doctors are going to do a full work up tomorrow and see where she is.' He spoke with sadness.

She knew that he was holding more back but didn't press him she just gave him a small nod and motioned for him to get both Gabby and himself in the car. As all three of them piled in Erin slowly started the car and slowly drove away.

Gabby looked back to the hospital. She knew that she would be spending more time then she wanted there so she would have to get use to it.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey there... sorry about the longer wait for this chapter!  
College has been kicking my ass again! So it is going to be like this for a while now! Hope you still stick with me and this story!  
Thank you again for the reviews keep them coming please! Would love more input from you guys about what you want in the story and where you want it to go!  
Thank you too every single person who has read this story means a lot to me!  
Anyways enjoy!  
Review :)

* * *

After Erin had dropped them off at home they both went straight to bed they had work early in the morning as well as telling everyone about Shay. It was going to be a long day.

They both woke up groggy and grumpy after only 5 hours sleep. They were use to getting less sleep but all the emotions they had been through last night made today extra difficult. They made their way downstairs for breakfast too tired to even speak to one another before they got coffee in their system.

The fresh coffee burned Dawson's throat slightly as it was poured down. She didn't even care about the pain she just needed coffee in her system to function today. She knew that today would be eventful.

They both downed there cups of coffee feeling better more awake to start the day.

'How are we going to break the news to them?' Kelly asked quietly.

'Just tell them and get it done with. I won't be able to stand to stay in that room for long with Casey either giving me evils or puppy dog eyes.' Dawson replied as she filled her cup with more coffee.

'Crap... No one knows you two aren't together anymore do they?' Kelly asked as his eyes widened in realisation.

They had both been so wrapped up with Shay that Kelly had forgotten about the events that lead up to Dawson staying at his place.

'Well it hasn't even been 24 hours since the fight. I just can't deal with him today Kelly can you please keep him away from me. I just want to work then go see Shay and deal with what is happening with her. I have no time to think about Casey at the moment. Call me heartless but I have better things to think about' Dawson spewed out as her emotions got the better of her.

Kelly just stood there and stared at Dawson he hadn't expected her to blow up like that. He knew that the last hours had been tough for her so he let it go. He quietly refilled his cup and began eating his breakfast waiting for her to make the next move.

Dawson stood there looking down she didn't mean to blow up at Kelly he didn't deserve that but she couldn't stop it.

'Kelly I...I'm sorry I just don't want to think about it today. It is going to be awkward enough' She whispered.

'I get it Dawson don't worry just don't let him get to you at work Chief won't like it. I will do my best to keep him away.' Kelly replied calmly.

'Thanks' She whispered before she headed off upstairs to collect her bag for work.

Kelly sat there and watched her go he knew that today at work was going to be impossible. All he had to do was concentrate on seeing Shay after shift. He quickly finished his food before he headed off to collect his bag. They both came out of their respective rooms at the same time and decided it was the right time to head to work. They both piled into Kelly's car and drove off both not ready for the day ahead.

Kelly parked in his normal spot outside of the firehouse he turned his engine off and sighed deeply. Today would go one of two ways. He looked across and noticed that Dawson was staring out of the window. He gave her a slight nudge to shake her out of her daydreaming.

Dawson hadn't noticed where they were until Severide had nudged her she had been too busy worrying and over thinking what was going to happen when she got there. Now all she could do was shake her head. She quickly jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut. The quicker her shift started the quicker it would end she thought as she grabbed her bag.

Severide followed her lead and jumped out of the car with his bag. He shut his door calmly avoiding making more noise than Gabby already had.

'You ready?' He asked after locking his door.

He already knew what the answer was going to be but he wanted to make sure that she knew he was there for her.

'No but let's get it over with' She replied with a sigh.

They both started walking towards the firehouse slowly. They noticed that no one was by the trucks so they decided to just head straight to their respective lockers and get ready for the day. They managed to avoid people so far but they knew as soon as they walked into the break room all eyes would be on them.

They slowly got changed into their respective gear trying to eat up as much time as they could before having to see everyone else.

Gabby took extra time trying to hide the bags that had formed under her eyes from lack of sleep and all that time she had spent crying. She knew people would look to her the most. She just hoped she didn't have to spend too much time with Casey.

As she stared at her reflection in to mirror she didn't notice that the chief had walked in. She continued her staring competition with herself for another 30 seconds before a small cough broke her out of it. As she shook her head she finally noticed Chief Boden standing there looking at her with worry.

'Sorry Chief didn't notice you their' She croaked out as she turned around.

'Are you okay Dawson?' He asked as he continued to look at her with worry.

She was sick and tired of people asking her that but she knew she couldn't snap at her Chief so she just put on a smile and replied 'Yeah I'm okay Chief just tired'.

'Okay then' He spoke not 100% convinced with the answer.

'Is everyone in the break room? Me and Severide need to talk to everyone' She asked wanting to get the announcement out of the way.

'Everyone except Casey. Have you seen him?' Boden asked.

'Thanks Chief and no I haven't' she replied quickly and moved out of the locker room.

As she got away from the Chief and his questions she took a deep breath. She knew that she was going to have to deal with these questions on a daily basis now until she came clean about her and Casey. One thing at a time she though. She moved to her locker and opened it looking for her watch. As she found it she pulled back and went in search for Severide.

She looked around but couldn't spot him. No doubt in the break room wanting some more food she thought. She slowly made her way into the break room and spotted him at his usual seat with the paper in his hands. As she looked around she noticed all the boys looking at her. She hated being stared at.

She quickly made her way up to the coffee machine and poured herself her third cup of the day and it wasn't even 10. She turned around and walked over to Severide before sitting down in the seat next to him.

'Are we going to do this or not?' She asked feeling like she was being watched.

'Yeah uhh, do you want to do the talking or should I?' He asked looking up from the paper.

'I will. Might be easier as Matt hasn't graced us with his presence' She whispered.

She took a long sip of her coffee to give her the courage to stand up and speak. She slowly lifted herself out of the chair followed by Severide. They made their way to the centre of the room before speaking.

'Guys can we have your attention please?' Dawson asked as everyone turned to look at them.

'So we have some good news as well as bad news' She went on feeling like she was giving a presentation in class with all the eyes now on her.

'What is it?' Cruz asked interrupting Gabby's thoughts.

'Well... as of last night Leslie Shay is awake' Gabby spoke with a small smile.

Everyone in the break room started cheering and clapping. They were all so relieved that she was finally awake. Severide and Gabby couldn't help but smile at the scene before them. They knew how much she means to everyone at firehouse 51.

'Guys... guys' Gabby shouted gaining their attention again 'That's the good news now for the bad. The doctors still don't know the full extent the damage to her brain had had on the rest of the body...'

Severide could see that Gabby was struggling to continue so he decided to take the rest of it.

'Shay may not be able to be a paramedic. They are going to do a full work up today to assess the damage. She also doesn't remember anything about that day. We are going to see her after shift to see what the outcome is.' Severide spoke with sadness.

The smiles had gone from everyone's faces every time good news came in this family bad news was quick to follow.

'Now we all know you want to go see her but the doctors think it would be best if only me and Dawson go see her but if you want to put something together for her then you can.' Severide continued.

Everyone looked at each other thing about what they could do for Shay.

'How about a video from all of us?' Herrmann suggested.

'That sounds good you could all say a little message to her and we could show her tonight.' Severide agreed with a smile.

'Are you two going to join in as well?' Cruz asked.

'Yeah sure I don't see why not.' Dawson agreed finally finding her voice.

'What about Mills and Casey?' Otis asked.

'Yeah where is Casey? Dawson how come he didn't come in with you?' Mouch asked eagerly.

Dawson looked around to see everyone staring at her she had expected this but she didn't think about what she would say to them. She opened and closed her mouth three times before looking at Severide to help her out.

'Dawson stayed at mine last night after we went to see Shay. Figured it would be easier' Severide spoke while giving Mouch the look to drop it.

Dawson gave Kelly a small smile in appreciation she didn't know what she would do without him at this moment.

'Well one of us could go by Mills's place and tell him about Shay and the video when we are one a break.' Dawson suggested as she looked back towards the guys.

'As for Casey we will have to see if he is coming in' Severide spoke quietly.

'Shall we start now?' Cruz asked.

'Yeah we should, Otis you still have that camera right?' Dawson asked.

'Yeah yeah I will go get it now for you' He replied before running out of the room to grab the camera.

Dawson and Kelly looked at each other with a small smile. Today was going better than had been expected. They were both thankful that Casey wasn't in to ruin the good mood. Otis slowly jogged back in the break room with the camera in hand.

'So who wants to go first?' He asked.

'I will' Chief Boden spoke surprising everyone in the room.

'Chief I didn't know you were listening in' Dawson spoke slowly.

'This is Shay we are talking about she is part of this family' Boden replied softly.

'Thanks Chief' Dawson replied with a smile

'Herrmann you are in charge of Engine 51 today as Lieutenant Casey has decided not to turn up on time. Right let's get this done with shall we?' Boden asked before turning and walking back down to his office.

Otis was quick to follow him and start the proceedings. Everyone else went back to their food and began to think about what they could say.

'Dawson do you think that some of the intelligent unit would like to be a part of this?' Severide asked while picking up his paper.

'Well I know Erin and Antonio would but I don't know about anyone else they don't really know Shay' Dawson replied before getting up to fill her coffee again.

'Well we should call them and ask them. If they do they could always pop down and have Otis film them here or they could just do it themselves and send it in.' Kelly spoke while reading his paper.

'Yeah yeah sounds like a good idea. I will call Antonio and you call Erin' Dawson replied while pulling her phone out.

As they both pressed dial on their phones the alarm in the firehouse went off signalling them to move. They both quickly disconnected their calls and looked to each other.

'Well those phone calls will have to wait. Come on girl duty calls' Severide spoke before racing to his truck.

Everyone in the break room sprang up and raced to the respective vehicles. Dawson knew today was going to be long for her. She would be getting a new partner later on today. She just hoped that whoever it was could live up to the standards that Shay had left. She took a quick glance to the empty seat next to her. It still didn't feel right not having Shay there next to her but she was finally awake. One good thing at a time she thought.

She took one deep breath and sped away from the firehouse following Truck 81 and Rescue Squad 3 on their first call of the day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! I am sorry about the wait! I just haven't been motivated to right at all! I think I had a mini writers block**  
**Anyways here is the next chapter. A little shorter than I wanted it to be but here it is!**  
**Please review it means a lot to me knowing that you are reading my work and liking it.**  
**Enjoy :)**

* * *

It had been a long day for everyone at Firehouse 51 but for Dawson it had been even longer. After attending to their first call of the day she was quickly called to another accident. She worked hard to help the girl but despite her best effort she couldn't bring her back. On top of that she got her new partner. She looked exactly like Shay.

It was torture spending the rest of her day riding in the ambulance with Shay's twin. She couldn't even remember her name. All she knew was she looked like Shay and it was going to make work 10x harder. She could hardly concentrate and on occasions she thought that it was actually Shay riding with her in the ambulance. She had almost called her Shay at one point.

After their final call she trudged back into the firehouse and quickly got changed. The other men in the house had finished as well and were making their way out. They had all done their little video for Shay and it was coming together nicely. It was down to her and Severide to finish theirs.

She walked slowly back into the break room and noticed Severide sitting in his normal spot. She quickly marched over to him.

'Please tell me you see it too?' She pleaded to him gaining his attention.

'Seen what?' Severide asked bemused.

'That' Dawson pointed at her new partner walking down the hall.

'Oh... yeah' Severide nodded 'It's weird right?'

'Weird? It's dam right creepy. Did they do this just to mess with us?' Dawson asked as she began to pace up and down.

Severide stood up and grabbed Dawson by her shoulders so she was facing him.

'You need to breath and calm down. You are getting yourself worked up over nothing. Yes she looks like Shay and yes it is weird but you have to push that away. Stop over thinking things. We have 10 minutes before we go and see Shay and she is going to need the both of us to be there for her. So clear your mind and snap out of it.' Severide spoke calmly trying to get Dawson to realise what she was doing to herself.

They stood there for a bit as Dawson started to calm down and think rationally about the situation. She wasn't getting worked up over her partner she was worrying about what was coming their way. They were going to find out what exactly was wrong with Shay and it scared the crap out of her. She didn't want to admit it to anyone but she knew that Severide new and it scared her. She hated being so weak. She knew she had to be strong for Shay.

'Sorry' She replied weakly.

'Stop saying that okay. You have said that too many times now.' He sighed as he pulled away and sat down again.

'Okay... have you done your video yet?' She asked in a whisper.

'No I still need to do it' He replied while looking around 'Maybe I should go do it now while everyone is pretty much gone'

'I was thinking that too. You can go first I will do it after you then we can go to the hospital' She spoke as she sat down.

'Yeah that sounds like a good idea. I'm going to go do it in my office. Is Otis still here?' He replied before standing up.

'Yeah he is in the conference room putting it all together. He said he would wait for us to finish ours' She replied quietly.

'Okay thanks' He spoke before turning and making his way out of the room.

As he left Dawson's mind was working overtime as she began to think about what she could say. She couldn't tell Shay she loved her via a video. That wasn't romantic in the slightest and Shay had only just woken up. She had to take her time before she admitted her feelings. She couldn't tell Shay it was her fault she was in the mess she was either. She didn't want to be too emotional on the video in case she upset Shay.

As she sat there and pondered what she could say she hadn't realised how much time had passed. Severide had walked back in with red puffy eyes from crying. She knew he had been through so much and was being strong for everyone.

'Your turn, you can use my office' He whispered before turning around and walking towards the locker room.

She slowly stood up and began walking towards his office. As she walked in she noticed the camera set up and ready for her. The only problem is she wasn't ready. She still didn't know what to say. She took one final deep breath before pressing the record button and sat down.

'Hey Shay, god it feels weird doing this. You know I am no good with things like this' She chuckled softly as she looked directly into the camera.

'These past few months have been hell for me. I thought I had lost my best friend' She spoke slowly holding back a sob.

'You scared me so much. Life without you scares me so much Shay I don't even want to think about it ever again. It's you and me Shay against the world like it has always been. You me and Severide are the three musketeers.' She whispered as tears began rolling down her face.

'I am going to be there for you every step of the way now. I will never leave your side even if you hate me. You are stuck with me now. Remember that quote "Every brunet needs a blond friend" well you are my blond friend and I never want to lose you. So don't do anything stupid.' She continued struggling with every word.

'I love you Shay. Me and you no matter what best friends though think and thin' She whispered before standing up and turning the camera off.

Dawson quickly wiped away her tears with her hands before standing up and carrying the camera with her. She walked down the hall and into the conference room where and placed the camera in front of Otis.

'Both me and Severide have done ours. That's everyone, how long before it will be complete?' She asked quietly.

'What about Casey?' He blurted looking sheepishly.

'It doesn't matter he wasn't here so he can't do it. Now how long Otis?' She asked getting impatient.

She was sick and tired of getting all these questions about Matt. Sure everyone thought they were still together but it was starting to piss her off.

'Give me 10 minutes tops and it should be done' He replied quickly before plugging in the camera and getting to work.

'Thank you Otis' She whispered before walking out of the room and into the locker room.

Severide was laid on the bench in between the rows of lockers with his eyes closed. They had both had a stressful day so she quietly got her things out of her locker and headed for the shower. After a hard day like today she needed to wash it all away.

She quickly finished up in the shower and got changed before walking back to where Severide was. He was still asleep but she knew that he needed waking up. She gently nudged his arm in an attempt to wake him up. Severide just laid there fast asleep.

Dawson chuckled to herself this wasn't going to be pleasant she thought. She slowly walked over to her locker and opened it softly before smashing it back.

Severide awoke startled from the loud noise ringing in his ear. He turned his head and found Dawson standing at her locker with a teasing smile on her face.

'Rise and shine sleeping beauty now I tried to wake you up nicely but it didn't work' She chuckled.

Severide closed his eyes again and grunted at Dawson he hated being woken up by loud noises. He laid there for another minute before swinging his legs over the bench and sitting up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched out his back.

'Is it time to go?' He asked finally looking back at Dawson.

'Yeah I think Otis is done with the CD. I will go check now and let you wake up more.' Dawson replied before out of the locker room.

As she walked into the conference room she noticed that Otis was nowhere to be found all that was left was the CD on the table. As she walked up to table she noticed there was a note attached saying '_CD is finished all of us are at Molly's please call as soon as you have news on Shay. Otis'._

She picked up the CD and walked back to the locker room.

'CD is finished and they have all gone to Molly's together. They want us to call as soon as we get the news about Shay' Dawson spoke as she collected her things.

'Okay, you know Shay will realise that Matt is the only one the CD, I mean we got Erin and Antonio on it but not him' Severide spoke as he splashed water on his face.

'So we tell her he wasn't in and we didn't have enough time to get him on it. I don't think it would be the best thing if he was on it anyways because we both know he would of said something stupid and we don't want that' She replied as she rolled her eyes.

'Okay whatever you say' He spoke as he walked over in front of Dawson 'You ready?'

'Am I ready to see Shay? Yes. Am I ready to see Dr Wise?... No' She replied looking him in the eye.

'Whatever happens just remember she is alive and with us. She will get through this' He spoke as he pulled her into a hug.

They stood there hugging each other for a good minute as they soaked in each other's embrace knowing that they had to keep brave for Shay.

They gently pulled away from each other and began walking out of the firehouse and towards Kelly's car. They both piled in the car and took one final breath before Severide started the car.

As he drove away from the firehouse all they could do now was hope that whatever Dr Wise was going to tell them wasn't as bad as they first thought.


	13. Note

Hey guys i know you will all be thinking it is a new chapter sorry about that i am struggling with this chapter to be honest. I am under a lot of stress from college to get work done and I have been applying for UNI as well which has added extra pressure on me. Along with football I have had no time to write or update! I feel like I owe it to myself and you guys to wait till I have written more than one chapter to wait till I update. These chapters will be extra long as its been a long time since I have updated! Again I am so sorry I hope you will stay with me and this story!

Much love


	14. Chapter 14

Hi Guys so here is the next chapter! I want to thank everyone who is still with this story! I feel like I have some of my mojo back! I think you will like this chapter! Now don't expect and update straight away! College work is still kicking my ass however I have some time on my hands as I can't play football for 2 weeks cos of damaged cartilage in my knee! Anyways reviews are welcomed please! I want to know what you think to it!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

As they parked up at the hospital they sat there in the car looking out of the window. They knew that they would have to move soon but they didn't want to. They were both scared of what was about to happen. Five minutes had passed before Severide decided it was time to move. He slowly looked across at Dawson and gave her a small nudge.

'We should go in' He spoke quietly.

'I don't think I am ready for this Kelly' Dawson replied softly as she continued to stare out at the hospital.

'No one in our situation would be ready Gabby but we have to go in and face whatever Dr Wise has to say and we have to be strong for Shay and for this family' He spoke with determination.

Dawson sat there as Kelly spoke and soaked in his words he had recently being giving a lot of speeches and every single one of them was right.

She sat there for a good minute before making her move it was now or never she thought as she stepped out of the car and shut the car door. They both slowly made their way into the hospital and headed towards where Shay would be.

As they rounded the corner they noticed Dr Wise standing at the nurses' station with a glum look on his face. They couldn't tell if it was because he was having a bad day or the news he was going to tell them was worse than they first thought.

They slowly looked at each other before continuing towards Dr Wise, this was their only way of communicating now as they had both found that they couldn't speak. They took each step slowly trying to pass time before they heard the news. They finally stood in front of Dr Wise who had his back turned to them.

Severide cleared his throat to try and gain his attention which worked. Dr Wise turned around and looked at both Severide and Dawson's terrified faces before speaking.

'Hi there Mr Severide and Miss Dawson' He started before pausing.

'Now we are yet to speak to Miss Shay as we figured it would be best if you two were here for support. Is that okay?' He asked looking to both of them.

They both looked to each other and nodded they knew it was the only way they would be able to stay calm.

'Okay then, how about you both go in and talk to Miss Shay I will join you in 5 minutes. If you can keep her calm and relaxed before I come in.' He spoke slowly.

'Thank you doc' Severide spoke before he guided himself and Dawson into Shay's room.

They walked slowly into the room both peering around the corner with a small smile on their faces. Shay was watching TV and hadn't noticed the two of them walking in.

'Hey Shay' they both spoke at the same time.

'Hi' She whispered still not looking towards them.

'How are you?' Dawson asked as she slowly made her way towards Shay.

'Tired' She whispered again finally looking at Dawson.

Severide slowly made his way round to the other side of Shay's bed he figured it would be best for them to be on each side of her when Dr Wise came in.

'I know the feeling' Kelly replied to her with his signature smile.

Shay gave him a glance before turning back to look at the TV. They stayed there in silence; the only sound was the TV. Both Kelly and Dawson gave each other a look indicating not to push Shay further. Another couple of minutes passed in silence before Dr Wise entered they both gave a small sigh of relief as they were getting more and more anxious.

'Hello to my favourite patient and her friends' He spoke calmly trying to ease the anxiety he felt as he stepped into the room.

'So Miss Shay today we ran tests on you today if you remember? They were all in aid for us to see the damage to your brain and the effect it has on your body' He spoke slowly trying not bombard them with too much information to start off with.

'As we first feared Miss Shay does in fact have gaps in her vocabulary, now she will get frustrated when she doesn't remember a word.' He started with the easiest news to break.

'She still has the basic functions in her legs but during her physical we noticed that she can only used her right hand to full use' He continued as three sets of eyes were focusing on him.

'Wait...' Shay butted in 'Are you saying I'm... I'm... what's the word?!' She stumbled out getting frustrated with herself.

'Paralysed' Dawson whispered out.

'No she isn't paralysed in her left hand the receptors to that hand have been damaged so she has little use of it' Dr Wise spoke calmly trying to calm them down.

'With physiotherapy there is hope she may regain more function in the hand. With this in mind Miss Shay you will unfortunately not be able to be a paramedic for some time. There is hope for the future if you agree to work with a speech therapist and do your physio correctly' He continued trying to bring some good news to the trio who all had tears sliding down their faces.

'What am I meant to do with my life now?' Shay asked quietly as she looked down at her hands.

She stared at her left hand willing it to move, to show them she was fine and that her hand was okay. The more she tried to move it the more she got frustrated and angry with herself. Why couldn't she just move her stupid hand?

'Let's not think about that now Miss Shay, you have to think about the next few days. As you continue to heel from the surgery you will need round the clock care. We feel that we should keep you here another 2 nights before you can go home' Dr Wise spoke as he looked towards Dawson and Kelly who had both been quiet through the whole talk.

'That is all the news I have for you today, if you have any questions you know where I am. Take it easy Miss Shay, don't try and force your hand to do anything. We will set up your physio tomorrow. Dawson, Kelly could I have a word with you outside please?' He asked before gently walking out the door.

They both slowly got up after taking one last glance at Shay. They turned out the door and found Dr Wise at the nurses' station.

'Now I know this is difficult for you but Miss Shay is going to be depending on you to be strong and there for her. She is going to get frustrated and angry and she will more than likely lash out. So I need to know from both of you now. Do you think you can cope with looking after Miss Shay?' He asked as he turned to look at them.

They both looked to each other, they knew it wasn't going to be easy at all but life with Shay never was. They had been there for her through everything so far they weren't going to stop now.

'She is our best friend Dr Wise and we both love her so of course we can cope. We know that it isn't going to be easy but life never is. We just want her to get better and anything we can do to help that we will do it' Kelly spoke with passion.

'Very well Mr Severide that is all I needed to here.' Dr Wise responded with a nod.

'Doc..' Gabby spoke up finally finding her voice 'Do you think she will ever be able to be a paramedic again?' She asked looked scared at what he would say.

'At this moment, no I don't think she will be a paramedic again, but things happen and I believe that she has the will power and determination to fight and claw to once again become a paramedic. You as her friends have to help her accept that but also have to keep her going and making sure she doesn't give up.' He replied.

'Do you think Shay should talk to someone?' Kelly asked quietly.

'I think the idea is there but don't pressure her into just yet. If things get bad with her mental state and she doesn't talk to either of you then I suggest she should.' He replied with a small smile.

'Thank you Dr Wise for everything you have done for Shay' Dawson whispered as she lean into give him a hug.

'Just doing my job' He whispered as he hugged her back.

After they finished talking to Dr Wise they made their way back into Shay's room. They noticed that she was looking out of the window in her room with silent tears running down her face. It had been a hard day for her and all the emotions were finally coming out. Dawson reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the CD Otiz had made she figured that this could help cheer Shay up.

'Go find a laptop we can put this on. I will talk to Shay' She whispered before walking over to Shay's bed side.

As Kelly walked out the room Dawson reached over to hold Shay's left hand. She held it tight as she began stroking it softly.

'Stop Gabby' Shay whispered softly.

'No I won't. Just because you can't use this hand fully doesn't mean I won't stop holding it. Look at me Shay... come on girl please' Dawson replied in a whisper.

Shay continued to keep her eyes off of Dawson's she didn't want her to see how weak and fragile she was. She hated being like this after last time she never wanted to be this weak again.

'What am I meant to do with my life now? I can't be a... I know the word why won't it come out' She shouted in frustration.

'I can't even speak properly Dawson! My life, the life I built for myself the job I had, my friends all of it gone!' She cried with more tears pouring down her face.

Dawson's heart broke all over again seeing Shay like this, she gently crawled into the bed and pulled Shay in to her and held her as she sobbed. She gently rocked her trying to calm her down.

'Shhhhs Shay. It's okay. You still have all of your friends no matter what. You still have a life, you just have to build a different pathway now and no matter what happens I will be here for you. Kelly will be here for you. Firehouse 51 will be here for you. We love you Shay so much you don't even realise how much you mean to us.' She whispered.

All Shay could do was cry into her best friend she was scared about what her life had for her and what hills she was going to have to climb to get a small reward.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys so here is the follow on from the last chapter! I really felt motivated to write this chapter! Please please review I can't stress how much it inspires me that people out there are reading my work! Tell me what you think to it!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

The two of them stayed like that cuddled in the bed as Kelly walked in with a laptop. He paused as he saw Dawson in bed holding Shay. A small smiled played upon his lips as Dawson looked up towards him. He figured Shay had finally let out some of the emotions she was felling. He slowly continued walking up towards the other side of the bed.

'I found one. They said we have to give it back to them before we leave' He whispered towards Dawson.

'Thanks Kelly' She whispered back with a smile.

'She asleep?' He asked still in a whisper.

'She has a name Kelly' Shay whispered back.

Gabby couldn't help but giggle at Shay. She could feel Shay smiling into her chest and she thought her heart was going to burst. She had the woman of her dreams in her arms. The only problem was Shay still didn't know how Gabby felt.

'Oh I am sorry I must have forgotten your name for a moment Princess Shay' Kelly mocked.

Both of the girls giggled at Kelly no matter what he always could make both of them smile.

'Are you ready to watch it?' He asked them as he pointed at the laptop set up on the bed.

'Watch what?' Shay asked as she moved in Gabby's arms to look at Kelly.

'You'll have to wait and see Princess' He chuckled putting the laptop closed to them before pressing play.

The three of them sat there and watched as each of the guys came on the screen talking about how much they missed Shay. Whenever they spoke about Shay coming back Dawson could feel her tense up in her arms. She knew it would be a sensitive spot but the guys didn't know what the three of them did.

As it got to Severide's turn Shay had tears running down her face again. She was so touched by everyone that had taken part in the video. She didn't realise how many friends she actually had. She was amazed that they had managed to get their friends from Chicago PD on the video.

As the screen went blank Dawson knew it was her part was coming. She tensed up as her face came onto the computer and turned away from it. As she heard herself say those three words she knew how she meant it but Shay wouldn't. It hurt to know that Shay didn't know how she felt about her but now wasn't a good time for Shay to know. As she sat there with her head turned to the side she began to think... Will there ever be a good time?

As she heard the last of her talk she turned her head back around to the laptop to see Kelly's questioning eyes staring at her. She shook her head softly indicating she didn't want to talk about it yet. She continued to hold Shay as she calmed down from the emotions of watching the video.

'Thank you guys, that means so much to me that you put that together. I don't know where I would be without you' She whispered.

'Anytime Shay you are our best friend and we wouldn't be anywhere without you' Kelly replied with a small smile and kissed Shay softly on her on her forehead.

Dawson slowly began moving from the bed but was stopped when Shay pulled her back.

'Don't' She whispered

As she went to lift her left hand up she remembered that it was useless. She chuckled to herself looking down at her limp arm just laying there.

'Still not use to this' She whispered sadly

'It won't be like this forever Shay' Dawson whispered back.

Shay slowly looked up into Dawson's eyes. She didn't want Gabby to pity her she never wanted that but as she stared into her eyes she didn't see pity she just saw love.

Kelly looked on as the two of them sat there he knew that had forgotten he was in the room at that moment. He sat there trying not to look at his best friend make googly eyes at Dawson but he couldn't help it. Shay looked happy for the first time since she had woken up. He hoped that they would both get their act together and tell each other how they felt.

They finally stopped there stare off after they heard Kelly move in his chair. They both looked away as their cheeks began to turn red. They had completely forgotten that Kelly was in the room they were too focused on each other.

'I can see you blushing' Kelly chuckled to Dawson.

'Ethnic people don't blush Kelly! How many times do I need to tell you this?' She replied with a sigh.

'Tell that to your face Dawson' He said with a knowing look.

Dawson could feel the heat rise up further on her face as she felt two sets of eyes staring at her.

'Okay guys that's enough with the staring at my face. I know I have a model's face and I am beautiful but it's creepy' She whispered looking towards both of them.

_That you are Gabby that you are _Shay thought as she continued to stare at Gabby.

'What was that?' Gabby asked looked down at Shay.

Shay looked like a deer caught in headlights, she hadn't realised she had said that out loud. She could feel two sets of questioning eyes on her and could feel the heat rise further and further up her face.

'Nothing' She squeaked out. 'I didn't realise I spoke aloud'

'Hmm sure' Kelly whispered.

They all sat there in silence no one wondering what to say it had been a long emotional and stressful day. As Shay began to snuggle down in Gabby's arm a knock at the door startled the three of them. They all looked over to the door and noticed Nurse Olivia standing there.

'Sorry ladies and gentleman visiting times are over now. Say your goodbyes now. I will be back in 5 minutes Miss Shay with your tables and to check on your wounds before you go to sleep' Nurse Olivia spoke before leaving the room.

Gabby stayed lying next to Shay as Kelly got up to say his goodbyes.

'I will be back tomorrow maybe if you are feeling up to some of the guys can come with us?' Kelly whispered.

'Yeah I'd like that' Shay whispered back with a smile.

'We will let you know tomorrow' He whispered before leaning down and kissing her forehead 'I will be waiting at the nurses' station for you Gabby'

With that Kelly slowly walked out the room sending them a small smile. Shay slowly turned in Gabby's arms so she could talk to her face to face.

'Thank you for that video Gabby, but I have one question. Where was... what's his name?!' Shay asked getting frustrated with herself.

'Casey' Gabby horsed out.

'That's the name. I didn't want to say anything but it's been on my mind since the video' Shay whispered.

'He... We erm... We kind of broke up' Gabby whispered look away from Shay.

'Oh... Why?' Shay asked eager to know what happened.

As Gabby was about to answer they heard someone footsteps coming back into Shay's room. They both looked over and saw that it was Nurse Olivia.

'Times up I am afraid, you can come back tomorrow' She spoke motioning for Gabby to get up.

'Sorry Shay. We can finish this another time. See you tomorrow girl' Gabby whispered as she kissed Shay on her forehead and got out of the bed.

'Yeah see you tomorrow' Shay whispered as Gabby walked out the door.

'Sorry Miss Shay, we need to look administer your pain medications and tend to your wound' Nurse Olivia spoke as she placed the tray she had been holding on the bedside table.

'It's okay Olivia' Shay whispered as she looked back to the open door where Gabby had just walked out of.

Outside of Shay's room Gabby made her way over to Kelly who was leaning against the desk on the phone. She figured he was talking to Erin as a smile played upon his face. As he noticed Gabby approaching him, he said his goodbyes.

'I am guessing that was Erin' She whispered.

'Yeah she wanted to know how Shay got on' He replied quietly.

They slowly began their walk to the car. Kelly wanted to ask what they talked about after he left the room but he didn't want to push. As the elevator doors closed Gabby sighed before she began to speak.

'She asked why Casey wasn't on the video' She whispered.

'I didn't know what to tell her Kelly. I only just managed to get out that we broke up! How am I meant to tell her that we broke up because I am in love with her? I can't! She can't handle this yet! She has so much to get through she can't know yet. God I am so in love with her Kelly It breaks my heart that she is in this place because of me' She continued as she looked up towards the sky.

'It isn't your fault Dawson you have to stop that' He fought back.

'But..' She started but couldn't find the words to carry on.

'How do you know she won't be able to handle it Gabby?' He asked softly.

'I just know Kelly okay I just know' She sighed.

Kelly didn't know what else to say to Gabby it had been a long day and he could tell that the emotions of the day were catching up with her. They had both been strong for Shay and they knew more hard times were coming. They just hoped Shay would be able to get through it.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey guys... I know long time again and I am sorry! However here it is! It's short but I hope you like it!  
Please please review! I want to say thank you to everyone that has read this and stayed with me! It means a lot to me thank you!  
If I don't update before Christmas I wish you all a Merry Christmas!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

After a long and exhausting day Kelly and Dawson finally managed to settle down at home with a cold beer. Dawson's mind was spinning away at the thoughts of actually telling Shay about how she felt but every scenario she shot down. As she sat there staring at the wall she hadn't realised that tears were slowly falling down her face.

Kelly had been too busy watch the TV to realise that Dawson was crying but as he turned to asked her what they should watch next he saw her staring at nothing in particular with wet cheeks.

'Dawson?' He whispered 'Hey Dawson, come on snap out of it'

Dawson shook her head as she realised a hand in front of her, she slowly turned to see Kelly looking at her with a worried expression.

'Sorry Kelly I was away in la la land' She whispered.

'It's okay. I think we should head to bed we have both had a long day. Another early start' He spoke as he got up and turned off the TV.

'Yeah yeah sure' She replied as she moved off the couch.

They both tiredly put their beer bottles in the bin and made sure it was tidy before they made their way to bed. They both said their goodnights before making their way into their separate bedrooms. They both settled down in their beds with alarms set for another early rise and drifted off to sleep knowing that tomorrow was another day.

They both awoke to the sound of their alarms blaring out. For Dawson she found it easy to wake herself up but Kelly always struggled to get out of bed on a morning. It wasn't until 30 minutes before they had to leave for work did Kelly make an appearance downstairs. He noticed Gabby sitting down quietly eating her breakfast.

'Morning' He horsed out his voice still laced with sleep.

'Morning nice for you to join me' She chuckled softly.

'Yeah well what can I say? I love sleep' He chuckled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

'Really? I wouldn't have guessed that' She replied sarcastically.

'Shh's alright! I'm awake now' He spoke with a smile on his face.

'I just remembered we didn't call the boy's last night. I woke up to about 100 miss calls from everyone' Gabby chuckled.

'Oh crap yeah well that can wait till we get to work' He replied.

'Well I'm going to head to work now I need to talk to Chief about something. We can tell them when they all get there like last time.' She chuckled before gulping down the last of her coffee.

'Oh okay I will see you at work' He replied as Gabby was on her way out of the door.

Gabby got to work in record time she hadn't remembered till last night that she had put in become the new candidate at another station. As she began to think about it she realised that Firehouse 51 needed her and she needed to not have the pressure of a new job with everything going on with Shay.

She walked quickly into the firehouse and headed straight to Chief Boden's office already knowing that he would be there. She knocked quietly upon her arrival.

'Come in' Boden replied with a thick voice.

'Hi Chief sorry to bother you so early..' Dawson began as she walked in the room.

'No it's alright Dawson is everything alright with Shay?' He asked worriedly looking up at Dawson.

'Shay is as well as can be expected at the moment both me and Severide wanted to have another meeting before shift starts but that's not what I'm here about Chief' She replied softly.

'Ahh okay go ahead' He replied leaning back into his chair.

'So with everything that has happened lately everything has been push out of the window and last night I remembered that I put in to be a candidate at another firehouse but with everything that is going on Chief I can't do that to myself, the guys, the firehouse and Shay. I need to be here I need to be around my family and there for Shay as much as I can. If that means I don't get to be a candidate for another year or so then I am okay with that.' She rambled.

'Gabby I totally understand and respect your decision. I will have to sort out the paperwork for you to sign saying you have decided to stay at 51 but you don't need to worry about it, you will always get your chance at becoming a fire-fighter' He replied with a small smile on his face.

'Thank you Chief it means a lot' She whispered 'I'm just going to go get changed before everyone else comes in'

'Okay' He replied before she walked out the door.

As she walked out she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she was thankful that he understood and it was out of the way. The firehouse was her home and she was glad to be staying. She slowly walked to her locker and began getting changed, she knew the guys were going to bombard her and Kelly with questions she just hoped that she would be able to face them.

After getting changed and ready for the day ahead she made her way into the lounge and made a fresh pot of coffee, she would need a lot of this today. Her shift was due to end at 8, she hoped that nothing would come in that made it run over she just wanted to get out and see Shay again.

She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and settled herself down in front of the TV skipping channels looking for something good. She finally stopped on an episode of friends.

As time passed she didn't realise that the guys had started to drift in, she was too focused on Friends, and she had always loved the series and secretly hoped they would do a reunion soon. As the episode came to an end so did her coffee.

'Hey Dawson can I get my seat back?' Mouch asked as soon as the episode ended.

Dawson was startled at first hearing a voice from next to her, she looked up and realised that half of the firehouse had arrived for work.

'Yeah sure sorry' She whispered as she got up, she thought better of staying in the room and headed for her locker hoping Kelly was at work.

'Kelly you in here?' She called as she walked into the locker room.

She wasn't looking where she was going when she collided with a warm body.

'I'm sorry' She whispered before she looked up.

As she looked up she realised who she had walked into.

'Casey' She horsed out.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys! I think I say sorry with every chapter I update but here it is! Hope you have had a good Christmas! Also have a good new year as this won't be updated till the new year!  
Hope you guys like it anyways!  
Pleas Review!  
Enjoy :)

* * *

Dawson stood there frozen to the spot with Casey standing in front of her with not much space between them. She could feel his eyes staring at her with intent but she couldn't bring herself to look into them.

They hadn't seen each other since that night and the memories and emotions were still there in Gabby's mind. Time had semed to frozen as the two of the stood there so many things needed to be said but Gabby couldn't deal with it. She was relieved when she heard footsteps coming towards the two of them.

'Dawson you in here? Mouch said you went looking for me' He called before walking in.

'Yeah' She replied moving back from Casey.

'Oh...' Kelly exclaimed as he walked in on the scene 'What are you doing here?'

'What me?' Casey asked 'I work here'

'Really? That's funny because I could of sworn you worked her yesterday but didn't even turn up' He replied walking in front of Dawson feeling the need to protect her.

'Gabby could we please talk about what happened?' He asked ignoring Kelly's remark.

'She doesn't want to talk to you. I think she has made that clear to you the other day.' Kelly replied for her.

'That's funny I though I asked Gabby not you Kelly' Casey replied sarcastically walking towards Kelly.

'Guys...' Dawson tried to get their attention and break the squaring match that was going on.

'GUYS' She shouted gaining their attention.

'Just stop okay. Kelly... Kelly look at me I am fine okay he can't do anything more to hurt me' She whispered to him gaining his full attention.

'As for you Casey, I think everything that needed to be said has been said other than I never want to be with you again. You think you can talk about my best friend like that and expect to be able to have a civil talk with me? Who do you think you are? If you ever and I mean EVER try and hurt Shay in any way I will shove your ball's so far up your ass you'll be shitting them for weeks' She ranted with emotion and passion at him getting close and closer towards him.

Kelly stood back in awe at Dawson sure he had seen her angry but never this angry she really had a way with words. As he noticed her getting closer and closer he decided to step in and pull her back before she started attacking Casey even though he deserved it he knew she would lose it.

'I suggest you leave now. Maybe you should go talk to the Chief I'm sure he has some choice words for you as well' Kelly spoke calmly hoping that he would take his advice before things got ugly.

Casey continued to stare at Dawson with no emotion on his face he took one final breath before starting to make his way out of the room.

'Dyke' He mumbled under his breath as he walked past them not realising he had said it loud enough for them to hear.

'Oh that's it' Dawson whispered before lunging out of Kelly's arms towards Casey.

With all her power she had built up from the training she had endured she shoved Casey back into the lockers.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' She screamed not caring about alarming the others.

'What's wrong with me?' He collared back pushing her away 'What is wrong with you? You had everything with me. We were in love we were happy and you decided to throw that all away for Shay!?'

As she stumbled back she was relieved to have Kelly catch her. As she moved to go back at him Kelly's arms wrapped around her waist stopping her from going at him.

'I didn't throw it away Casey! I wasn't in love with you anymore! We fell out of love! What we had was lost! You can't help that Casey! It wasn't Shay's fault! Just like it isn't my fault I'm in love with her' She cried as her emotion's got the better of her.

'You're in love with her?' He laughed 'Oh great, that's just great!'

'Casey I suggest you shut up before I accidently let her go' Kelly growled at Casey.

'What the hell is going on in here?' Chief Boden shouted as he stepped into the locker room.

Everyone in the room stopped and stood there in silence nobody daring to be the one to speak first.

'I asked you a question so I want an answer' He spoke calmly looking to at the three of them.

'All right then. You three stay here the rest of you get back to work make sure everything is ready for when we get a call' He spoke looking around as they moved from the room leaving the three of them.

As they all left Dawson sagged against Kelly all the pent up anger she had built up finally being realised.

'Now I asked a question and I don't like repeating myself so I suggest one of you starts talking now' He spoke as he leaned against the wall staring down on them.

'I walked in on these two standing here and then it all kicked off. Casey started it by trying to get Gabby to talk and she just told him to leave her alone and he didn't like that.' Kelly spoke first wanting to get this out of the way with.

'Oh of course it is my entire fault! Everything is my fault' Casey exclaimed banging into the lockers.

'Yeah it is your fault Casey! You're the one that said those things about Shay! If you had just kept your mouth shut this wouldn't be happening right now! You're lucky the Chief is here now because if he wasn't you'd be flat on your ass' Kelly hissed towards him with Dawson still in his grip.

'Bring it tough guy' Casey taunted him.

'Okay that is enough! Casey, Kelly! Stop now!' Boden roared over them as he walked into the middle of them.

'Now you three have to work together wither you like it or not! Casey I suggest you get your head out of your ass before you lose it! I get it break ups are hard but you are just making it harder for yourself. Kelly I get that you are standing up for Gabby and Shay but fighting isn't the way.' He spoke calmly trying to ease the tension in the room.

Both Kelly and Casey were about to respond when the alarm in the firehouse went off indicating they had a call.

'I suggest all three of you smarten up your ideas and get out there now! Saving people is more important at this time in need so leave the fighting in this room. Go now' He called over them as Kelly and Casey raced out to their trucks.

'And you Dawson, don't let him get to you. Just do your job and remember that Shay is alive and well' He spoke softly before getting up to leave 'Also tell that poor girl you are in love with her sooner rather than later. She has been after you ever since you moved her'


	18. Chapter 18

So I know I said that it wouldn't be updated till the new year... Well I lied! I managed to bust another chapter out!  
Here you go don't say I never did anything for you!  
Reviews fuel me to write more!  
Love to each and everyone that reads this!  
Enjoy:)

* * *

The day had gone fast after their first call while Gabby and her new partner Sam had to attend to two more calls the boys had a pretty easy afternoon. They all got on with their tasks around the firehouse making sure Kelly and Casey kept out of each other's way. There were the odd whispers about what had happened in the morning but the boys new better than to talk about it around the two.

As Gabby brought in their latest casualty she let Sam take her keys and told her she would meet her back at the firehouse. She needed to see Shay after everything that has happened this morning she just needed to see Shay to keep grounded. As she walked towards Shay's room she could feel her heart beating faster with every step. She couldn't understand why she was getting nervous about seeing Shay.

As she walked in Shay's room she was expecting to see her there watching TV except all she found was an empty bed. Fear rushed through her veins, the worst thoughts she had been holding back crept their way in. She quickly spun on her heels and raced to the nurse's desk she knew she had to keep her emotions in check and not let her mind tell her the worst had happened.

'Excuse me where is Leslie Shay?' She asked rushing out her words.

'One moment please' a nurse replied not really paying much attention to Gabby.

'No not in one moment I need to know where Leslie Shay is now... please' Gabby snapped at the nurse.

'Gabby?' She heard from behind her after she had finished snapping at the nurse.

'Olivia! Oh thank god where is Shay?' She asked rushing her words again.

'She's down at physiotherapy honey. Dr Wise decided to get a head start with it so she can get out of the hospital quicker. If we had known you were dropping by we would have told you' Olivia stated calmly trying to wash away the fear from Gabby's face.

'Oh...' Gabby whispered out with relief 'Thank you for telling me'

'Now how about you apologise to the nurse over there and I will take you down to see Shay' Olivia whispered with a small smirk on her face.

'Yeah okay' She said before turning around 'I'm sorry' she squeaked out at the nurse before waiting for Olivia to take her down to Shay.

As they made their way down to the physiotherapy unit Gabby could fee her heart beat began to return to normal. She didn't understand why she acted the way she did, sure it was scary not seeing Shay in her room but surely her paramedic side to her should of though rationally. As the wheels in her head began turning she hadn't realised that Olivia had stopped but she hadn't.

'Gabby?' Olivia called as she notice she hadn't stopped 'Gabby'

As Dawson shook her head from her thoughts she looked around and noticed that Olivia wasn't with her. She heard her name being called and she quickly turned around to see Olivia standing in front of a room with a worried expression on her face. She slowly mad her way back to Olivia.

'You alright Gabby?' Olivia asked softly.

'Yeah it's been a long day and my shift isn't even over' She replied and she felt a buzz in her pocket.

She took her phone out to see Kelly calling her she figured that she best answer it before she went to see Shay

'Sorry got to take this' She spoke softly before answering her phone.

'Dawson where are you?' Kelly asked before Gabby could say hello.

'I'm at the hospital, I just needed to see Shay' She replied softly

'Oh okay I get you, I will let Chief know, tell her I will come by and see her tonight' He replied understanding why Gabby needed to see Shay.

'I will do I won't be here long she's in physio at the moment so no doubt she will kick me out soon' She chuckled softly.

'Well if you aren't back chief will understand. I will take your stuff with me and bring it to the hospital' He spoke as he made his way to Chief's office.

'Thank you Kelly' She replied softly knowing she was more than likely she wasn't going to go back to the firehouse.

'No problem I will see you later' He replied cutting off the call before entering the Chiefs office.

Gabby smiled softly before putting her phone back in her pocket and turning back to Olivia, she pushed the door open and motioned for Gabby to go in first. Dawson could feel her nerves returning she was scared to see Shay and she was scared that Shay was going to tell her to leave. Gabby stood there and took a couple of deep breaths the try and calm herself down she slowly moved her feet and walked into the room.

As she walked further into the room she noticed Shay sitting on the bed staring down at her left hand. She could see that Shay was struggling to try and move her arm and was getting more and more frustrated with herself.

'It won't move okay no matter what you get me to do it is NOT moving' Shay growled out at her physio.

'Maybe if you put more into trying to move it then we might get somewhere Miss Shay' Her physio replied back sarcastically.

Dawson could see Shay getting angry at her physio and all the years she has known Shay she would bite back at him. She decided it was the best time to announce herself being in the room.

'Now now Leslie Shay I know you aren't getting sassy with your physio' Dawson chuckled trying to lighten the tension in the room.

Shay head whipped around at the sound of Dawson's voice she couldn't help but smile at her standing there with her work outfit on.

'Maybe if he wasn't giving me such a hard time I wouldn't have to be sassy with him' She replied with a smirk.

Gabby walked forward with her hands on her hips motioning for the physio to give her some room to talk to Shay.

'Well you know why he is giving you such a hard time don't you?' Gabby asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Yes I do but he doesn't need to be so sarcastic with me this room isn't big enough for both of us to be sarcastic' Shay replied with a small smirk.

Gabby made her way round in front of Shay and took a step towards her so there wasn't much space between them.

'Well maybe you should take your sarcastic self down a notch so that you two can get along and you can come home quicker' Gabby replied with a small smile.

'Why do I have to do it? Why can he?' Shay replied in a whiney voice.

Gabby just stood there and looked at Shay with her eyebrow raised. She knew Shay would never say no to her. Shay just continued to stare at Gabby hoping she would back down. After a good few minutes Shay sighed indicating that Gabby had won.

'Fine I will try just for you. What you doing here anyways?' Shay asked remembering what time it was.

'Erm...slow day so I thought I would come and see how you were doing' Gabby hesitated before replying.

'Some thing happened didn't it?' Shay replied reading Gabby like a book.

Gabby just stood there and sighed not knowing if she should tell Shay what actually happened between her and Casey. She didn't think Shay could deal with that just yet but the way Shay was looking at her right now she had no choice but tell her.

'It's Casey...' She whispered.


	19. Chapter 19

Hi...

Please don't kill me... I am so so so sorry about basically forgetting about this story. It got pushed to the back of my mind and I honestly forgot. College has been a pain it the ass. I have had to do things for UNI which has been at the top of my list. Getting injured and being in pain and feeling like shit hasn't helped.

However I am working on the new chapter but I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about the story or if anyone would like to help me with writing it? If so drop me a message and we will see what we can do!

So anyways I am very sorry and I hope to have at least 2 chapters done this week if anyone out there is still reading. I fully understand if you are not but to those who will still read it thank you!


	20. Chapter 20

Hey Guys I know I promised to have a new chapter or two up by now but my mum is gravely ill in Hospital right now and all the energy and time I have has been focused on her. With her situation getting worse I am going to have to abandon this story. I want to be able to come back and write later on but I don't know. If anyone wants to continue this story in their own way please contact me.

Thank you for understanding guys.

Seana


	21. Chapter 21

Hey there guys so it has been a long time since I last did a chapter. As those who read my last Authors note you understand why I had to abandon my story. My mum was taken very ill with an infection in her brain that almost cost us her life, she got so many infections that her body started shutting down. However after 3 months in a coma and 3 months fighting hard to get her mobility back she is on the road to recovery. She has had to basically start over and learn how to, speak,eat and now walk again. She still has a long way to go but she is doing good.

Now the next big problem is my old laptop broke and I can not get the chapters i wrote and the new chapter I started before my mum was taken ill so I am having to start from scratch, so please bear with me as i try and get back in the grove.

I will be starting University in September so it will be hard for me to update this story on a regular basics but i want to finish it since nobody wanted to continue it while I was away.

I hope to have a new chapter up by the end of this month that is my target, but don't get your hopes up.

I hope people stick with me and I hope i don't disappoint you.

Many thanks

Seana

x


	22. Chapter 22

_Previously on Things Will Never Be the Same Again_

_'Erm…slow day so I thought I would come and see how you were doing' Gabby hesitated before replying._

_'Something happened didn't it?' Shay replied reading Gabby like a book._

_Gabby just stood there and sighed not knowing is she should tell Shay what actually happened between her and Casey. She didn't think Shay could deal with that just yet but the way Shay was looking at her right now she had no choice but to tell her._

_'It's Casey….' She whispered._

'What's wrong with Casey?' Shay asked.

'The day of the explosion before we got the call he… he erm…' Gabby stumbled on her words not sure where she was going with telling the story of what happened.

Shay sat there patiently waiting for Gabby to spit the words out she didn't want to rush her.

Gabby took a breath before she continued with her sentence 'He asked me to marry him…'

'Oh…' Shay breathed out not sure what to say putting her dead down to look at the floor.

She was meant to be happy for her best friend she had the man of her dreams the man she had been pining over for so long and now he had finally asked Gabby to marry him but she couldn't help feel a little pang of jealousy and heart break grow in the pit of her stomach. She sat there thinking about what Gabby had just said not listening as Gabby continued to speak.

'But I said no… I couldn't do it' Gabby spoke louder hoping to get Shay's attention.

As she continued to look at the floor she was sure she had just heard Gabby tell her she said no, but she wasn't sure and didn't want to get her hopes up of that being true. She continued to stare at the floor hoping the tears wouldn't come. She didn't like crying and she didn't want to show Gabby how she felt especially because Gabby couldn't know she was in live with her.

'Shay… Shay? I told him no' Gabby said a little louder gaining Shay's attention.

'You said no? Why? I thought he was the one? You pined over him for so long all those days talking about him wishing he was single and then he becomes…. Something and you start dating and now he asks you to marry him and you say no?' Shay asked snapping her head back up venting off to Gabby.

'Wow okay I didn't expect that I thought you would just ask me why not go off on a rant asking me so many questions' Gabby said as her eyes widened at Shay's outburst.

'Sorry I don't know where that came from…' Shay spoke in an apologetic manner as she looked around the room trying to avoid Gabby's eyesight.

'It's okay… the relationship wasn't what it seemed to everyone on the outside we lost that spark we once had and then the explosion happened and you almost….' Gabby spoke coming to a holt not wanting to say the word that was on the tip of her tongue.

'Died' Shay whispered as tears formed in her eyes from just saying the word.

'Yeah… you almost died and I realized that yeah while I still love Matt I'm not in love with him like I once was. I also realized that I am in love with someone else someone who doesn't have a clue how much I love them' Gabby spoke not knowing whether she should continue or not.

'You love someone else?... Is it Kelly?' Shay stuttered out not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

'Girl that head injury must have worse than the doctors realize' Gabby chuckled before continuing 'Yes I love someone else and no it's not Kelly eww Kelly is like my brother'

Gabby stood there in disgusted thinking about her and Kelly it wasn't a nice sight. She quickly shook her head from them thoughts and waited and Shay looked poised to ask the important questions.

'Oh…. Who is it then?' Shay asked not knowing whether she actually wanted the answer because she knew it wouldn't be her and it would hurt her even more than the pain she was in right now from the physio.

'Its…' Gabby managed to get out before the door to the physio room was opened with Daniel the physio walking back in.

'Sorry to have to stop you there but Miss Shay we have already lost 20 mins of your physio time and we can't afford to lose any more. You can continue this convocation during visiting times but now I am going to have to ask Miss Dawson to leave us to get back to work' Daniel spoke with a small smile.

'Oh yeah sure I will get out of your way. Shay we can continue this later, both me and Kelly will be up later tonight.' Gabby spoke as she leaned in to give Shay a small hug before pulling back.

'Okay, see you tonight if this dimwit doesn't wear me out from too much physio' Shay spoke as she nodded her head towards Daniel.

'Be nice!' Gabby spoke as she walked backwards towards the door never taking her eyes of Shay until she walked out of the physio room.

As she got round the corner from the physio room she leaned her back against the wall and let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. She almost told Shay she loves her… she didn't know what possessed her to even begin telling her that she loved someone else never mind almost telling Shay she was that person she loves.

She cursed at herself for being so selfish and not thinking about Shay in all this, what if she didn't feel the same way? It would make things so awkward how would they go from here?

She slowly pushed herself from the wall and began her walk to her car she checked her watch and realized her shift would be over in 10 minutes since Chief knew she was at the hospital she decided to just head home. She piled herself in to her car and started her short journey to Kelly and Shay's house hoping he was in as she had a lot to talk about before they both went back to see her tonight.

She walked through the door and saw Kelly in the living room catching up on some games he had missed.

'Hey, how was Shay doing with physio?' He asked getting up to greet her in the kitchen.

'Hmm yeah she did fine' Gabby answered distracted in her own mind going over what had happened while she was there.

'What happened? He asked seeing her distracted within herself.

'God dam it how do you and Shay do that? You both can read me like a book when something is wrong' She huffed as she went to the fridge and got out a cold beer.

'You are easy to read sometimes Dawson… Now tell me what happened.' He spoke as he sat down on the other side of the table.

'I almost told her…' She whispered putting her beer down and scraping her hands through her hair.

'You almost told her….Ohhh right shit' He began to ask before realising what Dawson was on about.

'Yeah my thoughts exactly… Shit' She sighed before taking a long swig of her cold beer.

'How did you even get to almost telling her?' Kelly asked genially intrigued.

'You know Shay she reads me like a book, she knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She could tell something was wrong so I told her that Matt had proposed before the explosion…' She began before she was cut off.

'Wait how did she handle that?' Kelly asked not letting Dawson continue with her sentence.

'Well if you would let me finish my sentence than maybe you would find out' She spoke gritting her teeth slightly.

'Right right sorry continue' He spoke as he held up his hands in surrender not wanting to piss her off.

'As I was saying, I told her about the proposal and I told her I said no. At first she didn't hear me but then she started asking me all these questions and almost bit my head of as to why I said no which wasn't very Shay like' She spoke softly before pausing and taking a drink.

'She asked me why I said no and I simply told her that the relationship wasn't what it seemed and while yes I do still love Matt I'm not in love with him like I am with someone else. She then asked me if I was in love with you' She spoke before laughing remembering the face she had pulled when Shay had said that.

'She what?' He asked while laughing 'That head injury must have been much worse than the hospital realized! You're like my sister eww ahaha.'

'That's what I said' Gabby said in full laughter ' She then asked me who it was and I was just about to tell her that she is the person I am in love with her physio walked back in telling me I had to leave. I don't know if I should thank him or hit him.'

'If I was you I would do both 'Kelly answered with a small chuckle.

'No but seriously Kelly I can't do that to her, what if she doesn't feel the same way? This will destroy our friendship and she needs me more than ever now I can't do anything to jeopardize our friendship' Gabby sighed and she took another swig of her beer looking pleadingly at Kelly.

'Dawson I get where you are coming from I do but I am going tell you this now I truly one hundred percent believe Leslie Shay feels the same way about you as you do about her. I understand you don't want to tell her because you don't want to do anything to take her mind off this battle she is facing but you have to realise we are going to be with her on this battle every step of the way and maybe having that bit of motivation from you telling her you love her will give her something else to look forward to. A relationship with you.' He spoke gently hoping it would help push Dawson into tell Shay.

'I'm just so scared Kelly' She whispered dropping her head on to her chest looking down at the floor.

'I know girl I know but if you keep dancing round this then things will get awkward between you and Shay and we really don't want that now do we?' He asked while leaning over and taking her hands squeezing them softly.

'No we don't… ugh why do you have to be right all of the time?' She sighed lifting her head up.

'It's one of my many qualities' He spoke with a chuckle.

'I will tell her tonight I think' She said smiling softly.

'Okay that's a good plan now go get showered and ready then we can set off soon' He replied letting go of her hands.

She walked round the counter and pulled Kelly in for a big hug and whispered into his ear softly 'Thank you for everything'.

'I'm always here for you Dawson no matter what' He whispered holding her tight.

She softly pulled back and turned and made her way up the stairs with a small smile on her face tonight was the night. The night to tell the girl of her dreams she loves her.

* * *

So I managed to bust this out in 2 hours... I was on a roll with my music and I just got right into writing it, I hope you enjoy it.  
Please review and tell me what you think.  
Oh I don't own Chicago Fire if I did Shay would be alive and Shawson would be together.


	23. Chapter 23

After a quick shower and change Gabby was ready to go see Shay again, she knew everything Kelly had said was right and after his little pep talk she knew she could say those words. She just hoped and prayed Shay said them back. She quietly walked down the stairs and straight into the kitchen to get some food. She realised while showering she hadn't had any food since a snack while out in the van and that was a quite a few hours ago. She made herself a grilled cheese sandwich too nervous to eat anything bigger while she waited for it to cook she realised how anxious she was she couldn't keep still.

'You okay there jitterbug?' Kelly asked coming into the kitchen.

'Shit Kelly I thought you were upstairs' Gabby exclaimed as she grabbed her chest as it was beating so loud.

'Sorry didn't mean to scare you' Kelly chuckled as he opened up the fridge and took a gulp of the little milk that was left.

'It's alright I'm just jumpy and nervous about tonight' Gabby spoke as she pulled her food out and put it on a plate.

'Remind me to go shopping tomorrow were running low on supplies' Kelly spoke as he closed the fridge door.

'Hmmm' Gabby replied not really hearing what Kelly had said.

Gabby knew that the fate of her and Shay's relationship whatever it may be would rest on what Gabby said to her and how Shay would react to it. While in the shower Gabby had gone over and over what she could say to Shay and how she was going to say it. She just hoped it would come out okay when it was time.

Kelly stood there and shook his head, he knew Gabby wasn't really listening to him she was too caught up in her own mind about this whole thing. He quickly glanced at his watch and figured now was a good time to set off.

'You ready?' He asked grabbing his keys off the side 'I'll drive'

'Yeah yeah' Gabby replied while placing her plate in the sink and wiping her hands down the side of her jeans.

Gabby led the way to the car as she let Kelly lock the door. He knew if he left it to Gabby she would forget and knowing their luck they would be burgled and they didn't need that on top of everything happening right now.

They both climbed into Kelly's car and were away on their short trip to the hospital. Gabby couldn't keep still her legs were bouncing up and down and she kept wringing her hands together, a nervous habit she had picked up during her time at medical school. They were quick to arrive at the hospital and park up. Kelly slowly switched the car off and just sat there for a moment before he turned to look at Gabby.

'How do you want to do this?' He asked softly.

'I… I don't know' Gabby replied honestly she hadn't really thought about that bit.

'Well we could both go in and talk for a little bit then I can say I have a phone call and have to take it giving you your chance to talk.' Kelly offered, it was the most believable excuse he could think of.

'Yeah okay that sounds okay' She replied with a small nod.

'Okay come on then' He spoke and he swung his door open and climbed out the car hoping Gabby would follow.

Gabby sat there for a few seconds more taking a few breaths to try and calm her nerves, she knew it probably wouldn't help but she figured she could try it anyways. She took one final breath before climbing out of the car and made her way to the entrance.

She managed to make it to Shay's room without incident but she knew that once she was in that room there was no coming back from what she was going to do. She just hoped and prayed she was doing the right thing.

'Hey there' Kelly said as he walked into Shay's room.

'Hi' Shay whispered softly.

'How you feeling girl?' He asked before softly kissing Shay's forehead.

'Tired. I'm pretty sure my physio is trying to k…k…k' Shay stuttered on the word getting agitated at herself.

'Kill you' Kelly replied softly.

'Yeah that but at least I got a visit from Gabby during it so I got a break' She whispered with a small smile.

'Yeah don't be expecting that often miss you need to use all that physio time to get better quicker' Gabby spoke finding her voice in the convocation.

Gabby stood there and listened on as Kelly and Shay continued to talk about her day, she was relieved that Shay seemed to be up for convocation today. They talked about random things mostly and Gabby was happy to just stand there and let them talk. Hearing Shay chuckle at some of the thinks Kelly was saying put a smile on her face. Maybe just maybe this wouldn't be as hard and she thought it would be.

It wasn't long before Kelly pulled his phone out and received the magical phone call that would distract him for long enough so Gabby could talk with Shay.

'Sorry ladies but got to take this' Kelly spoke apologetic as he looked at his phone.

'I didn't hear it ringing' Shay looked up confused at Kelly.

'I turned it to silent when I got her' Kelly replied quickly as he stood up to leave 'I'll be back soon'.

Gabby turned and watched Kelly walk out the room, she could feel her heart beating faster and louder in her chest. She took deep breaths before turning back to Shay and smiling softly. She pulled up the chair Kelly had occupied and grasped Shay's hand.

'So…' Shay whispered.

'Soo then there were two' Gabby replied with a chuckle.

'Yeah' Shay replied tiredly.

'I… I want to talk to you about something' Gabby started off wanting to ease into the convocation.

'What have you done now? Has something happened between you and Matt?' Shay asked concerned.

Gabby didn't know how to reply she was sure she had told Shay this afternoon about her and Matt.

'You know me and Matt aren't together anymore Shay… I told you that this afternoon when I came to see you during physio' Gabby replied confused scrunching her eyebrows together.

'Oh… did you?' Shay asked not sure she believed Gabby.

'Yeah why would I make that up?' Gabby replied trying to keep her emotions in check as she let go of Shay's hand.

'I..I didn't say that' Shay replied with a yawn.

'You don't remember the convocation we had?' Gabby asked as she could feel the tears pool in her eyes.

'No… was it important that I needed to remember?' Shay asked getting upset with herself that she couldn't remember.

'I…I can't, I can't do this I just…' Gabby managed to get out before she bolted out of the room.

Kelly was sitting on the chairs outside of Shay's room playing Candy Crush on his game, as he looked up and saw Dawson's figure bolting out of the room in hysterics.

'Dawson!' He shouted at the retreating figure as he jumped out of the chair but she kept running away.

He quickly walked into Shay's room and found her laying there in shock with tear pooling in her eyes.

'What happened?' He asked as he rushed over to Shay.

'I don't know… She was talking about the convocation we had at physio but I don't remember it Kelly… what….what...what…' Shay gasped as she tried to get her breath back.

'It's okay it's okay Shay breath breath' He replied worried about his best friend.

Shay continued to struggle to catch her breath as she tries to focus on Kelly she eventually calmed down and regain her breath and composure.

On the other side of the hospital Gabby had finally stopped running and found herself in the chapel. She couldn't remember getting to the chapel but she settled in on one of the benches as tears continued to fall down her face. She laid down on the bench and tucked her legs into her. She had no idea what to do, she had ran out of the room so fast leaving Shay with no explanation to why she was so upset.

As she continued to lay there she hadn't realised that Olivia had seen her running out of Shay's room and thought it would be best to follow her. Olivia slowly pushed the door open not wanting to startle the crying girl. She quietly walked over to Gabby sitting down on the bench in front of her.

Olivia hesitated before speaking 'I don't know what happened Gabby but I do know that things will get better'

'How can you know that?' Gabby whispered softly closing her eyes.

'Everything gets better with time Gabby' She replied in a hushed tone.

'This won't because she doesn't remember the convocation we had this afternoon. I was so close to telling her and now I can't. If I tell her she won't remember anything Olivia how can I know that and then tell her…' Gabby spoke getting herself more worked up as the tears began falling harder.

'Tell her what sweetie?' Olivia asked.

'That I love her, she's the love of my life and I just want her' Gabby replied before letting out a small sob.

'Oh….' A voice in the back said.

Gabby sat up quickly and turned to see Shay in a wheelchair with Kelly behind her.


End file.
